The Murderess - Rewrite

Chapter 3

Johanna's training regimen is rough.

For the next three days, each time Griffin and I leave the gymnasium we return to our floor and are immediately put through a session with Johanna and Blight, who have secured weapons and begin teaching us our chosen skills. They give us very little additional information about how to survive in the arena outside of combat; we've learned enough from the trainers and are sure we can manage to secure food and water. Rupalia thinks it's enough for us to talk aloud about needing things, because so long as we put on a good show, sponsors will assume what we require and send it right along.

It's grueling, to throw axes repeatedly with no breaks until I hit the exact spot Johanna has chosen. My arms ache and I'm still expected to catch the spear she throws at me, and I'm given no warning before Blight charges at me, knocking me flat on my ass and demanding I fight to get up, even as he keeps stabbing the spear at me, leaving me to wiggle pathetically like a worm. For the first time, I hear Griffin's sweet laugh, just like Gretya's used to be.

I don't know how I can bring myself to kill someone. I still hesitate to attack Blight, I still struggle to imagine a face on one of the targets. In the end, is chopping people to bits really so different from cutting branches? Is killing a human really so different from killing a massive tree, who is also a living being? How do I stop myself from feeling guilt? How do I completely disconnect myself from these people? Even treating it as a game isn't enough to make me feel fine about the murders I'm going to need to commit to get us out of this.

I try to imagine the faces of the evil people– most of whom I've never seen in my life– that have led us to this point. I suppose that might make it easier. President Snow's face on each tribute might make it easier for me to kill them all.

Our lessons are fruitful despite how taxing they are. By the third day, Griffin is able to hold the sword upright and manages a few good swings, though I fear it will never be enough. Johanna has run me so raw I feel my muscles crying for a break, but she reminds me that three days ago, I couldn't hit a moving target with an ax and now I can. I couldn't fight with knives and now I can manage enough if my preferred weapons are taken away. I couldn't truly wield a spear and now I can, and I find I enjoy it far more than throwing, though I do find myself focusing on that because it'll grant me an advantage in not injuring myself. Long range weapons might be better for the game.

"The evaluation is simple," says Johanna as I massage Griffin's arms, our training session concluding with a talk about what to expect now. "They've been taking notes on you all week, and today you'll be dining together before you're called in one by one to show your skill. Show off the useless skills. The climbing, the ropes, a sprinkle of strength. Aim for the middle, because the Careers will be scoring double digits. What's your progress with allies?"

"They're not good," says Griffin. "The boys and girls from Nine and Eight are all sickly and I've watched them move around... they're too weak to lift most of it. Either they're pretending or just really bad."

"The Careers are glaring at everyone," says Morgan. "The only one who seems open to an alliance is Bay but I think his district partner will drag him in with the rest of the Careers. The kids from Three seem smart but they were startled when I tried to initiate a conversation. Five and Six are potentials, I've spoken with them a bit but they also don't bring much to the table. Twelve is out of the question but Eleven is most promising, the boy and girl are both well-fed."

"We'll see what their scores are and arrange something," says Blight. "Keep it in mind."

We're ushered down to the dining hall, where large tables are set up to give us room to mingle. The Careers have already settled together, and Griffin guides me to sit with District Eleven, who introduce themselves as Jago and Dorothea. Jago claims he can wield a scythe and Dorothea is sure she'd be the best at finding us the food we need to survive using traps. I carefully hint at maybe being strong enough to swing an ax in a fight if need be and Griffin adds that I've taught him to climb; if there are trees we can pick fruit or pull them up for shelter.