Loony-cy

5: DC

Within Metropolis, home of Superman, there is not many threats that the Man of Steel cannot handle.

The one he was facing was, sadly, one of the exceptions.

Metallo was not that powerful, but his power source, Kryptonite, was very dangerous for Superman, as such he needed to mostly keep his distance.

Superman was knocked into the side of a car by the robot villain. Most of Metallo's human disguise was gone, revealing his menacing robotic appearance. Thankfully, most people had already cleared the streets.

"What's the matter, Superman? You don't look so good," Metallo taunted as his chest opened to reveal the Kryptonite he uses as a power source. "Nothing that some good ol' Kryptonite can't fix."

Superman raised his hands, groaning in pain and trying to protect himself from the radiations of the green rock. Metallo kept walking closer and closer to the man of Steel.

Suddenly, a motorcycle came in and screeched to a halt between Metallo and Superman, giving the latter some cover of the Kryptonite's radiations.

Getting off the motorcycle was the Mask, wearing black jeans, a white shirt, a leather jacket, and pitch black glasses with brown hair combed backwards. In his hands was a double barrelled shotgun.

"Hasta La Vista, baby," the Mask said in an exaggerated German accent, pointing the Shotgun at Metallo.

When the trigger was pulled a sign that says 'Bang!' Came out of the barrel.

"Is this supposed to be-"

Metallo was cut off when the gun was thrown and smacked on his head, causing him to reel back from the impact and glare at the Mask.

The Mask pointed at Metallo. "I'll be back... for my chicken nuggets," changing costume to his signature suit, the Mask grinned. "See ya, sucker!"

The Mask left, running into one of the nearby buildings. Metallo took a glance at Superman and saw that he was still recovering from the Kryptonite. Seeing that the man of Steel isn't going anywhere, the robotic villain chased the Mask into the building.

When Metallo smacked the door open, he saw that the building was apparently a saloon. On the reception seat was the Mask with a different look.

The Mask had transformed into a small chubby woman that wore a pink dress with red heels. He had a beehive haircut and was currently doing his nails.

"Do you have a turn?" The Mask asked.

Metallo ignored the question and walked towards the Mask, raising his arms to take hold of the green-faced man and rip him apart.

The Mask put his nail file down and held his hand upwards, causing Metallo to stop in confusion. "Listen, sweetie, I do not care if you're the queen of Sweden. You are not getting cut," he then pointed at a group of chairs with a coffee table. "Now go over there and wait for your turn!"

Metallo groaned in annoyance but still did as he was told. Grumbling, he walked towards the waiting area and sat on one of the chairs. Seeing a magazine nearby, he picked up and started flipping through the pages.

"Metal man! You're up!"

Realising that he was the one being called, Metallo placed the magazine down and walked towards one of the barber chairs. Once he sat down, the Mask appeared besides him with a new appearance.

He was wearing a barber suit and had black hair with an exaggerated haircut.

"Oh, you have let yourself go!" The Mask exclaimed, getting a good look at Metallo. "Now, honey, what did I tell you? Don't go skipping on our usual appointment!"

"Bah, you know how it is," Metallo groaned as the Mask placed a barber napkin on him. "With the wife and kids always asking for attention, and work has just been hell."

"Oh, tell me about it!" The Mask began rubbing lotion on Metallo's head. "Frank was here the other day and he just looked like a zombie. Complained about work during his entire session."

"How is Frank, by the way?" Metallo asked, looking at the mirror as the Mask rubbed his head.

"Oh, you won't believe it. His daughter made it into Harvard!" The Mask exclaimed, placing a towel in boiling water.

"No kidding? Good for Frank. He deserves a break after that scare last month," Metallo nodded as the Mask pulled out the steaming towel out.

"Mm-hmm, you said it. That dumbass doctor scared us all by telling Frank he might have cancer," the Mask dropped the the chair's back to make Metallo lie down.

"I told Frank to sue his ass," Metallo said before the steaming towel was placed on his face.

While Metallo was waiting for the steaming towel to warm his face, the Mask pulled out a screwdriver and began pulling out the screws on Metallo's chest. Taking out the Kryptonite, the Mask threw it backwards, where it landed in the toxic waste dump.

Straightening the chair's back, the Mask grabbed hold of towel. "Behold!" He exclaimed before removing the towel.

Metallo looked roughly the same with the exception that now he had wavy blond hair. "You did it again!" He said, standing up from his seat. "How much?"

"It's on your tab, sweetie. Now get out there and remember to say hi to Frank," the Mask said back as he began sweeping the floor.

Metallo nodded and just went for the exit. As soon as he walked out, he found Superman waiting for him with his arms crossed.

Metallo stood there for a few seconds, staring at the man of Steel before looking down to see that his Kryptonite core was gone. As soon as he looked up, Superman's fist made contact with his face.

The combination if the strike and losing his power core was enough to send Metallo off line as he fell back on the saloon's floor.

The Mask, back in his yellow suit, grinned down at Metallo. "By the way, sweetie, your tab reached the fifth digit. Better get a loan!"

"Thanks for the help," Superman walked closer to the Mask.

"No problem, big blue," the Mask jumped on one of the barber chairs. "Now, off we go!" He said reaching down and pulling the lever.

The chair shot upwards and smashed through the roof. Superman stood there, looking up at the remains of the ceiling before sighing and shaking his head.

"It's not even that time of the year yet," Superman mumbled.

He already had someone he knows that used powers that defied all logic and reason, but at least Mr. Mxyzptlk worked on a schedule.