A not so fake Christmas

Chapter 2

"So, gift buying stresses you out?" I ask and take a long sip from my now warm chocolate.

Alex sighs and lets her eyes travel around the room before looking back at the streets again. I follow her example and do the same.
The rain stopped, so we could go out again and go on with our days, pretend as if this never happened.
But neither of us makes a move to get up and do so. For my part, that's because I still got half my pastry and some of my hot chocolate.
For Alex's part, I'm not sure. Maybe she still has some of her coffee or she suddenly doesn't want to get home so fast anymore.

"It's stressful when you got three siblings and two parents to buy for. Plus my siblings partners. I don't have to buy each of them a separate gift, I just buy a couples gift but still." She explains, not meeting my eyes again. I hum, that does sound like a lot of people to shop for.

"Christmas is always a big family dinner then, I'm guessing?" I ask, hoping to lift the mood a little.
But when Alex looks back into my direction, I can tell I failed miserably. There's a frown on her face that I can't place but I know it's not implying anything happy.

"You could call it that. We are ten people at the moment. That is, if my cousins or aunts don't decide to show up randomly. This year, we might be lucky because they are on a ski trip but still. And with my sister having a baby now and my one brother's girlfriend being pregnant, we will soon be even more people." Alex grumbles. I'm confused though because that actually sounds really nice.

Sometimes I wish we were more people to celebrate Christmas with.
Last year, it was just my parents, my sister and I. It was a little weird because we don't come together in that combination very often and it can easily feel very forced.
Still, I am thankful to see them at Christmas and spend time with them. Well, maybe not this year because of my recent breakup.
But I don't have to worry about Christmas since my parents are on vacation over the holidays and my sister announced she'll be with her friends. The next time I will see my family again will be New Years Eve, which I'm kind of dreading. But that's a problem I have to solve another time.

"You're not a kids person then?" I ask. Alex shakes her head and takes a long sip from her coffee. Alright, maybe we change the topic to something less critical.

"I don't mind the kids perse. What does bother me is the fact that I won't hear the end of it from my parents. They'll ask me about my dating life and when I tell them I don't have one, they will start giving me speeches about how great love is and how much it can give you. It's the same every year and by the end of the time, they have that disappointed look on their face as if I let them down because I'm not bringing home someone.
It's just...it's exhausting and I really am not in the mood to hear all their stupid fake encouragements again." She scoffs and looks into her coffee mug.

A rant is really not what I expected to hear today. Especially, since we barely talked about anything more personal than liking or disliking the holidays. But I get why she doesn't want to go meet her family under these circumstances. If my parents were any more involved in my life and started bugging me about dating someone, I'd probably be annoyed too. Sure, sometimes I wish they were more engaged but then I remember their comments about bisexual people just being unable to choose.

No matter how many times I explained to them that it's not about choosing, they don't understand it. Or rather, they don't want to understand it. They still hope I will end up with a man and they won't have to explain to anyone that their daughter might marry a woman.

When I told them about my ex-girlfriend, I could hear how unhappy they were. If I told them now that their 'warnings' about Abbie were right, I would never hear the end of it either. So yeah, maybe it's okay that they aren't much involved.