Love In Colour

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: TWO TRUTHS & CUDDLE BUDDIES

Trashy reality television shows, junk food and my two best friends. As per the usual on our nights in, we're tangled on the couch.

"I'm so glad you made it tonight, that man of yours has been keeping you all to himself." Rhys says.

I roll my eyes at him, "That's not true."

"Yes, it is. You missed our last two movie nights." Bentley backs up his boyfriend.

That's true, I did miss our last two nights. Gray and I had another sleepover and that time he spent the weekend at my place.

"We're only lucky tonight because Gray is not around." Ben adds on.

Again, another truth. Grayson is out of town attending a conference hosted by Google. He is one of the panelists and he'll be sharing some of his knowledge with some young software engineers. When he told me the news, I was so overjoyed. This is a big opportunity for him and I am so proud of him. All the work that he does is recognised and applauded by some of the biggest tech people in the world.

"Oh please, as if you guys didn't push towards having a boyfriend."

Rhys shoves my arm, "Yeah, but not for that boyfriend to have all of your attention." he pouts.

I laugh, "Alright, stop with the pouting. You know I can't resist that."

He smiles, and finally stops with the pout. "Alright, but, really, we're happy for you. That man clearly makes you happy."

A smile tugs at my lips, "He does. Even though I sometimes feel so unworthy of him."

"No, stop with the self sabotage." Ben scolds.

It's hard to not self sabotage. When all you've known in your life is people being cruel to you. It's not easy to accept love and kindness. I've never known tenderness.

"You need to learn to let people love you. Let that man show you what it's like to be cared for. I know he cares for you. I see it in his eyes."

I digest Ben's encouraging words. He's right and I know that. I just need to drill that into my head. Fighting the pessimistic side of me is like fighting a losing battle against a deadly virus. I'm hoping that this time, I really win.

***

Hours later I'm in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Music flows from my headset into my ears. The music cuts off as as my phone vibrates.

I smile the moment I answer the call. "Grayson King."

"Thandi Langa. How is my girl doing?"

My subconscious swoons at the 'my girl'.

"I'm alright, just trying to get some sleep. How about you? "

"I'm alright. Everything went well. Did you enjoy your night with your friends?"

I nod, even though he can't see me, "Yes. They are mad at you for stealing me away from them."

He laughs, "I'll apologise properly to them when I get back."

I ask him about his time at the conference and he tells me all that he got up to in the past two days. I attentively listen to every detail, noting how his tone changes to excitement when he tells me his favourite parts.

"I'm having the best time. I already got an invite to come again next year as a panelist."

I smile, "I'm so proud of you. Your hard work is paying off."