Where Loyalty Lies // Mori Ougai x Reader

Chapter 10: Break Your Heart

Dazai smiled, even though Y/n continued to avoid looking at his postured face.

"I'm glad you're awake. You were in rough shape. Atsushi said he found you in an alleyway. Mind telling me what happened exactly?" He said, trying to conceal his deeper concern for her.

Y/n looked away from him, trying to ignore his presence, but his voice kept piercing her ears.

"You know, you don't have to do that," Dazai said. "It's not like anything bad is going to happen if you look at me."

Y/n sighed and turned to him. She remained silent, but stared at him for a few moments. "Are you mad that I joined the Port Mafia without telling you?" She said.

Dazai's expression relaxed. "Well, I was worried when you vanished suddenly, but seeing that you're safe in front of me, I don't think I could be."

Y/n clenched her lips together. Dazai noticed her apprehension and reached out his hand to hers. She pulled away. His eyes widened at how evasive she was being towards him, but he simply brushed it off and leaned forward in his chair.

"Listen, Y/n. I can help you. For whatever reason you decided to join the Port Mafia, I'm here to tell you that it's not worth the trouble it has brought and will continue to bring you. Stay here. You don't have to bother with those people."

"I don't want to leave them, Dazai. And I don't belong here anymore—not with you," she said, looking down at her hands in her lap.

Dazai grimaced and his heartbeat quickened. However, he let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, regaining his composure. "I'm just trying to protect you. Can't you understand? You don't have to ruin your life like this."

"I know it's dangerous, but when have I ever been safe, Dazai? Before I met you, I was nearly killed along with my parents by something that was a deliberate act. And now, it seems my demons have come back to haunt me as well. At least in the Port Mafia I know where I stand. I'm stronger now and I'm allowed to kill if I need to. Unlike you who just wants to keep me in a cage."

"They may have been killed, but you're still alive, aren't you?" Dazai said. "I know that deep down you want to be a good person, and it's not too late to do that. Just let me help you." His eyes pleaded for Y/n to come back to him. He knew how this ended. Her corpse getting shuffled into a body bag and the regret laying waste to his mind for the rest of his life. If he simply tried harder to stop her, to make her see the horrific path she was on, then maybe he wouldn't have to lose a precious friend again.

She sighs. "That's what you want, Dazai. I don't. I'm not your project to fix. Save that for your new little orphan boy if you want, but that's not me."

Dazai's face tensed. "And what of Mori? Do you think he's not trying to fix you? He's just controlling you. You're a puppet to him. He'll do anything to win your trust. But it's not real, Y/n."

"So you're not guilty of doing the same then? Right. I believe you." She rolled her eyes.

"I simply want you to be safe. I never let you join the Agency because I didn't want you to feel forced into using your ability. Even though the people here would never treat you like a tool, as they would respect you, I didn't want you to view yourself as simply a means to an end. You're more than your ability, Y/n. The Port Mafia will only exploit that part of you. You're still new to their organization, so you don't know Mori like I do. He will discard you if you become a liability. You don't deserve that."

"It's my job now, Dazai. It's only natural that I use my ability. I think you're exaggerating Mori's intentions. He only wants me to reach my full potential. Why can't you see that?"