The Reason Why We Shouldn't Get Married

26

*

Jaymus blinked in a daze. When he was told Iandrus was going to get a portrait done, he felt a little funny inside. It was then that he realized he never thought about having a portrait done with Iandrus. Jaymus stood still, looking like he'd just been beaten over the head.

He always liked to say that he took care of Iandrus, but was he really thinking about him properly?

Back when the royal family had their portrait painted, Iandrus was not present. When Jaymus asked where he was, the queen casually brushed the question off. She said Iandrus hadn't completed all the work his tutor had given him, so he was being punished until he finished it. But since she assured him that Iandrus would be able to come next time, Jaymus just laughed along, musing about what a funny kid Iandrus was.

But it didn't make any sense. Jaymus knew better than to believe such a simple lie. It took an entire month for that portrait to be painted. It wasn't that Iandrus was too busy with his assignments to be there for the portrait. It was that the queen did not wish for Iandrus to be included within the framework of their family.

Even so, Jaymus pretended to be ignorant. The peace of their family was fragile, and he knew that it would easily be broken the moment he mentioned the truth.

"I......" Jaymus muttered, still somewhat dazed.

This was the moment he realized that the deepest parts of himself were not so beautiful. To his core, he was a person no different from the queen.

During the month they spent having that portrait painted, Jaymus did not question Iandrus' busy assignments again. It was only long after theirs was finished that Iandrus had one commissioned as well, but in the end, it was him alone, hanging in a frame next to their family portrait. Perhaps that was the queen's little way of quietly showing him that he was not a part of their 'family'.

Jaymus pretended to be ignorant of even that. He convinced himself he was doing it for the sake of the royal family. His guilt was short-lived, and as he became accustomed to the separate portraits, they were slowly buried in his memories. And with time, it was only natural he hardly thought of the word 'portrait."

Jaymus gave a vain smile.

He vowed never to be a person like his mother, but now, he and her were essentially the same.

"......Do you think he'll be busy all day?" Jaymus asked.

"No. He mentioned the session will be complete around three in the afternoon."

"Then I can wait. Can you tell Iandrus to come see me once he's finished?"

"Yes, Your Highness," the servant said, gently bowing his head.

For some reason, Jaymus felt like he shouldn't disturb Iandrus right now.

This would be Iandrus' first family portrait. Something like that was too meaningful, at least for someone like Iandrus. And as someone who had dared to imitate the idea of family, Jaymus had no right to interfere.

*

* * *

*

While Diana was sitting calmly, Iandrus was fussing over everything they needed to make this portrait happen. Iandrus really wanted him and Diana to look like a family. They would eventually be one someday, so he would certainly make that possible.