My Broken YOU

CabIN Fever

The sun beams down on the three of us as we unload the car. I remember the lake house exactly as we left it, only this time it's almost ninety degrees and the last time it was a beautiful blanket of snow. And Mason is not here so I don't have to worry about that issue.

I reach for my bag from the trunk and then close the trunk. My eyes look toward the open area of the driveway and memories flood back to the day Mason was here and I was secretly excited he showed up that day. Then I fought with him until we became something magical. That's over now. I need to stop thinking about it.

The sound of the trunk shutting takes my attention off him and brings me back to reality and I look out at the beautiful lake. With these temperatures, I am hoping to get in that water and hope for an amazing weekend.

"Do you have everything?" Ava asks her narrowed eyes and blank expression almost telling me she's hiding something.

"What?" I ask, my tone stern. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's not just us three this weekend!" She admits, stepping closer to me.

"I swear to God!" I scold and shake my head, stepping away from her. "If Mason!"

"He's not coming!" She interrupts me with a warm and innocent smile. "But Brayden did invite a couple of people for tonight. And they will only be here tonight. I need to be honest. Brayden's dumb ass did invite Mason but then rescinded his invitation."

A part of me is furious and another part is completely okay with this. "What you're telling me is it's possible for Mason to show up, right? Because you promised he wouldn't be here! It's been months and I'm still not over him! This was the place where we started dating and it brings back memories. If he comes, I'm gone, and I mean it!"

She nods her head and quickly reaches for my hands, trying to agree with me. "I know, Maddy! I will drive you home myself! I promise!"

I shake my head, feeling the slightest twist of sickness in my stomach. "When are these friends of his supposed to arrive?" I ask and release my hand from hers. I begin to walk toward the house.

"They should be pulling up any minute." She admits. "They arrived in town and Brayden said they should be pulling up any time."

She stops talking as the sound of tires on gravel begins to move closer to us. "They are here!" I look over at the vehicle and stop in mid-walk. "Might as well see if Mason is in that car and get ready for you to just take me back home."

"But if he is in that car." She argues with a pleading tone, her eyes glancing toward the path to the house. "We could always figure it out. It doesn't have to ruin your weekend."

"It will!" I argue while starting to get this feeling he's in that car with whoever is coming. "Was he invited? Ava! Don't lie to me!"

"Yes!" She finally admits with regret in her eyes. "But that doesn't mean he's coming! He knows you are here too, and he wants to stay away from you just as bad as you do."

I scoff and look up at the sky like it's my worst enemy. "I'm finally out of that stupid dorm room. It's almost like summer out here and I finally get to have fun! And now you're telling me Mason might be here with us! Damn it, Ava! Why?"

The car pulls up. There are two guys in the front seats, but I can't make out who the one person is in the backseat. The car comes to a stop, and both guys in the front get out. The person in the back takes a moment but finally opens the door. And sure enough, it's fucking, Mason.

My jaw tenses as I exhale a disgusted and disappointed breath. Anger and excitement radiate through me as I see him and instantly turn around. "Well, I'll be in the car!" I scoff and start walking back to the car.

"Maddy! Please!" Ava begs and I feel her hand grab at my shoulder. "I want to have fun that's a three-hour drive! I know this isn't what you expected, but just play with the notion of enjoying yourself without being around him!"
"Being around him!" I yell in anger, making sure Mason can hear me. "He knew I was here, and he still came!"

"Damn, bro!" One of his friends mockingly says with a wide smile. "You fucked up by coming, man! She doesn't care for you very much!"

"No! I don't!" I agree, glaring at Mason, making him aware with my expression that his showing up was a mistake. "Why'd you come knowing I was here? What good does this do ruining my weekend!"

He averts his eyes, refusing to look back at me, and turns around. "I'll stay out of your way. You won't even know I am here," he says, walking toward the house. "Enjoy your weekend."

"This isn't going to work!" I turn to Ava and argue. "I'm pissed! I feel like I was trapped in this! Why!"

"I know, babe!" She pleadingly says. "And I know I said I would drive you back, but I only said that because I didn't think he was actually coming until Brayden just admitted to it a few minutes ago! I mean it! I will do everything to make this weekend as fun without worrying about Mason!"

My feet drag toward the house as I begin to walk. "You better!" I say in a defeated tone. "And he better not take my room this time!"

"He won't!" She answers as we step inside the beautiful rustic home that I remember from this past winter. A part of me feels at home and comforted. Another part feels disgusted as I see Mason already sitting on the couch.

"Nope!" I say looking directly into his eyes. "This weekend is ruined."

"I'm not here to ruin your weekend, Maddy!" He argues and I watch as his jaw tenses up. He's not mad, he looks more regretful than anything else. "I had nothing better to do. And yeah, they told me you were here, but even after our breakup months ago, I assumed we would somehow become friends."

I scoff and roll my eyes, not believing a word he says. "Tell me this, Mason! In front of everyone! Can you truly be my friend without wanting to rip my clothes off?"

He goes to talk but pauses. His expression goes from fixed to lost. He doesn't have an answer. He just told me with his eyes he can't be my friend. Why is he here? He knows the same thing I do. We can't be friends. It's not physically possible. Not without wanting each other.

"I believe I could." He softly says and looks around at everyone listening to our conversation. "I think..."

"Bullshit!" I yell, feeling this inkling inside of me. This is the first time I've been around him this much in months and now I know why I stay away. Just talking to him and looking at his lost expression is driving a hunger in me. I haven't felt that hunger since we were together but it's like it never disappeared.

"Can we talk about this, privately so everyone isn't listening to us?" He mumbles, almost inaudible like he's embarrassed.

And just like that, a part of me wants to rip his clothes off. No matter how mad I am at him, there is an undeniable connection between us, and he knows it too, he's just not willing to admit it.

"I'm not going anywhere in private with you at all!" I pick up my bag and argue.

"Why not?" He questions, his expression looking confused, but everything inside of me screams he knows the truth.

"Because! Mason! I can't be alone with you!" I yell growing angrier as my insatiable hunger only grows.

"I don't understand why you can't be alone with me." He argues, truly seeming lost at my point, but I think he's lying. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Alright, everyone can cover their ears!" I announce looking around the open area. "Do you want to know why even after all this time, I can't be alone with you? Because I can't control myself when I'm alone with you!"