The Indoctrination Of A Domesticated Foreigner

Ch. 3 Blacker White America

I grew up in White America , but I was raised by Black America. Struggling to find my place and identify, still to this day. I realize that this society was not built for me and mine. Growing up in an era where trends and fads were used to uniquely identity ones self and ones statements . The statements being the way we dress, walk, and speak are being used against us . I remember a time in my grandparents house when I asked my Grandfather to take me to get a haircut. Trending at the time were high top fades , mohawks, and other funky hairdos. I decided to spend my grandfather's money on a Mohawk design. To me it was a brilliant new look , well needless to say it didn't sit with my grandparents at all. I questioned my grandmother specifically about why they resented my haircut and I also told them that they didn't understand me and my era. My grandmother told me and I quote.. " your not indian what you need a Mohawk for."Fast forward to present times and I see a lot of eccentric older trends being brought back into modernization. It makes be wonder if it's a show of creativity by one trying to be unique , or if it can even be considered as such. Being that most trends aren't original , only repeated . I don't believe there are any original ideas anymore. I believe more and more people today , especially the youth are being fooled into believing that those ideas are our own. Take our language for example , and I'm not referring to the original alphabet and words in the English dictionary. No this is in reference to the languages and phrases we use today. Where does it come from? All these slang terms and degrading words ... Well.. The origins of African American English (AAE) are controversial. There is a general consensus that (AAE) originated from a creole language , which is a mixed language. This creole language was derived from West African languages, Caribbean Creoles, and English. (AAE) began in the 17th century when the Atlantic slave trade brought West African slaves to southern US colonies. These colonies eventually became the southern United States in the late 18th century. Some scholars believe that (AAE) developed from the contact between speakers of West African languages and speakers of vernacular English varieties. They believe that West Africans learned English on plantations in the southern coastal states. Other scholars believe that African American Vernacular English has always been a dialect of English. They believe that it originated from earlier English dialects rather than from English based creole languages. This substantiates my argument and theories about originality. The speech we use isn't necessarily our own , but variations of different cultures. But on a different spectrum , an adaptation is a variant of difference. Especially a cultural adaptation that causes mass change. The cause and effect being status quo. Once again referring to the general social or political view. Take a look at any major event in the past five years and compare the then and now based on the impact it had on the people socially and politically. One major example being the Corona Virus or COVID . Which started off as a global epidemic/pandemic turned , into a global phenomenon of mass proportions. Safety and health guidelines made it mandatory to wear masks, which we then customized and turned into fashion statements. Mandated quarantine and social distancing guidelines caused more and more social media trends. Quarantine tik-tok videos , blogs, and sitcoms . We made being sick look cool , fun, and chic. So let's take it back....
All throughout my childhood, my youth, my adolescent years , and my teenage years my life played out like a showing of keeping of with the Joneses mixed with rip the runway. My mother is a real fashionista, with a love for flair and style . I really think her Northern roots played a major part in her sense of style and it definitely rubbed off on me . But in hindsight that was just a minor piece of my arsenal . Not only did I have the swagger and charisma to match my wardrobe, I also talked the talk to match the walk . If you know nothing nothing else about Savannah Ga just know we have a lot of culture . And cultural diversity played a huge part in my vernacular. Simple and plain baby we geechee. Ain't no mimicking the southern island twang of the Savannah drawl . Closest in comparison might be Louisiana. I didn't even realize how different my natural tongue was until I traveled outside of Savannah and then outside of Ga. My mother prides herself on her speech . She is a very outspoken and articulate black woman. She made it incumbent for me to learn proper grammar. She was very particular about word format and definition . Knowing what to say and when , and how to properly voice my opinions. You remember Soulja Boy right , well picture a young me listening to Soulja Boy on the radio in the car with my mother. You know that verse where he says , "do you want to get with me the question is rhetorical..?" Well as soon as my mother heard him say that , she turns off the song and says to me if you can't tell me the meaning of that word you can't rap that song aloud. And she was dead serious. It just shows how serious my mother was about vocabulary. Even to this day , she hates me using slang and if I do it too much in her presence she'll correct me . Small to some , but major to me because speech is everything. Communication is a tool more commonly used than any I've ever seen . Sometimes even more valuable than actual currency . Then there are things unspoken but very well communicated and understood. Ever hear the phrase it's not what you say or do but how you say it or do it ..? Let me give you some real life examples. Along with my taste for fashion , I had a thing for making trends. I was attending Islands highschool where African American kids were the minority and the majority , being we held the influence. A lot of attention was given based off of how we dressed and behaved. How we spoke to one another. We made a huge impact to the school especially after they split half my neighborhood and allowed us to attend islands in the first place . We stood like sore thumbs . I remember one instance when me and my homeboy Marlon decided to put cuts in our eyebrows on some player vibes . The females were the first to comment on our appearance and it later became a thing amongst our friends. One day the school truancy officer called me into her office . She questioned me about the origin of the cuts in our eyebrows and accused us of being apart of a gang . I remember asking her how she can relate fashion to gang activity . She responded by saying she knew the neighborhood I was from and she wouldn't put it past me . She labeled me although she knew absolutely nothing about me. She painted a target on my back and gave me problems the rest of the time I attended that school. She made me feel insecure about myself , as though it was something wrong with my appearance or how I dressed. When I transferred my senior year to Johnson a predominantly black school my outlook changed even further . Now it wasn't even about my ethnicity, but more of a challenge to prove how black I was. Made me feel like a sheep among wolves ... and it forced me to become a wolf . In a lot of ways I feel today's society is a lot like my highschool but on a grander scale. Small talks with truancy officers turned into harassment by police for wearing the wrong colors on the right street. Misconceptions about my intelligence because of the gold in my mouth or the shoes on my feet . Sometimes it's best to be quiet because anything I say out my mouth can be taken as a threat and a sign of aggression. They judge us by the color of our skin, our hair , and our clothes . But as time goes along we care less and less . More the reason to fight . But are we losing ourselves to win a war ? Conformity can be considered a major form of oppression. Suppressing or denying someone's ability to express themselves is considered an injustice. But it has gotten to the point where we would fight to have freedom of expression even if it causes us harm. I think sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that we have to be different in order to be unique and original , and no one can tell us different. And now it's justified to use profanity, whether it be socially appropriate or grammatically correct. Some feel it's their right to talk how they want , no matter who it offends or what it sounds like. We curse ourselves, we curse at our woman , we curse and condone cursing with our children . It's reached the point of this being included in our culture , and we are being depicted as uncultured for reasons such as this . And this is what I'm a product of . I feel the view is already altered even when I'm not in the picture. It's always been this way for as long as I can remember , such is the world we live in. I sometimes see my unique traits and characteristics as a handicap . And I don't see that view changing anytime soon. I'm part of the problem as much as any of you , who aren't actively fighting to change . Things so absent minded in thinking such as using a person's hair texture , length , or styling as a way to depict their mood or their wealth , or their mindstate. But give a person a picture of someone with dreadlocks and a picture of a person who is clean shaven and ask their opinion of both. More glorified are rappers and ball players with iced out jewelry . Less respected are the men and woman who wear suits . Or who work regular jobs . These are the misconceived views being passed down to the youth. I for one know my role model is older than me. So who do we have to look up to but the ones who came before us, and the examples they set. Alot of my peers have and will be persecuted because of their idols and role models . I've seen some of my homies go on a lick jamming Tupac. I went on a mission jamming Boosie . I felt the need to carry two guns , partly from hearing it in a song and seeing it around me daily . I felt like a gangster with one gun on my lap and another on my hip. I saw camouflage with slugs in his mouth and it made me want to go to gold box. I sold weed so I could have money to spend on woman and more weed. I begged my mother for the latest shoes so I could impress my friends and girls I wanted to have sex with . Same shoes I saw a dude die over on Black Friday. The news blamed Jordan , Jordan blamed us. Crime rates rising and they say it's because of the music we listen to , but the 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms . The moment we speak out openly and negatively against the persecution we once again become targets for even more oppression. Now we have to fight the seen and unseen. Which turns into us wearing black lives matter across our chests and R. I.P. shirts while asking for justice for George Floyd. Then get labeled as extremists . Trayvon Martin was murdered for wearing a hoodie in the wrong neighborhood. And this may come off as controversial but who's to say whose right or wrong in these situations anymore . Yes there isn't any innocence in social injustice, but that doesn't mean there is a lack of motive or reason. Once again we have a blinded view. I turn on the local news and they portray the images of Violence. Say its stemming from black communities more than white. The majority of mugshots I see, look like me . They arrest those who talk and dress like me, labeling us the problem . And I don't feel they are entirely wrong, they are simply highlighting a very real issue, where we've taken tools and made them weapons . We've taken our social liberties and freedoms and made them into prisons . I talk the way I do because I feel I have to . I act they way I was taught . Trial and error throughout my life has made me feel I don't have many options . I dress how I want not caring to be accepted by caring to be different. That difference could get me killed . But I feel if I don't I won't be me. If im not seen in a certain light .. then who would I be ... so am I right or wrong ?

To Be Continued....