XV. 538-561

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INT. ROVER - ARES 4 MAV SITE - DAY

Sol 538

Mark and Darcie stared at the camera with a look that said, 'Oh Jesus, these JPL guys are gonna get me killed.'

Mark said in a distraught tone, "Mackenzie and I know what they're doing. Mackenzie and I know what they're doing. They keep repeating "accelerate faster than any man in the history of space travel" like this is a good thing, like this'll distract us from how insane their plan is. Oh really? Darcie and I get to be the fastest man and woman in the history of space travel? You're launching us into space in a convertible. No no, it's worse, because we don't have any controls. You're launching us into space in a tin can. And, by the way, physicists don't even use words like "fast" when describing acceleration, so they're only doing it in hopes she and I won't raise any objections because we like the way "fastest man and woman in the history of space travel" sounds. Well, you know what?" He thought about it and glanced to Darcie who nodded. "Wedolikeit. Wedolikethewayit sounds. Okay, fine. Let's do this."

Waterloo by ABBA began to play.

EXT. MAV - DAY

Mark and Darcie stood at the base of the MAV. They both held a large wrench in their hands, almost like a weapon.

Mark and Darcie stared up at the MAV with a gleam in their eyes.

"My my at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender..."

INT. MAV - DAY

Mark and Darcie tore the acceleration chairs out of the cockpit.

EXT. MAV - DAY

One after another, the acceleration chairs hit the dirt in a pile.

INT. MAV - DAY

Mark and Darcie tore out the control panels. They were having fun.

EXT. MAV - DAY

The controls hit the dirt. The pile was growing.

INT. HERMES FLIGHT DECK - SPACE

Martinez ran through a flight simulation at his station. It wasn't going well. "Collision with Terrain" blinked in angry red letters on his screen.

"And... you killed them," Johanssen said.

Lewis shrugged. "Try it again."

Martinez rebooted the simulator.

INT. MAV COCKPIT - DAY

Mark and Darcie waited in the airlock with a mess of stripped equipment.

EXT. MAV - DAY

The outside of the MAV looked like the set of Sanford and Son. Mark and Darcie wrenched one of the MAV's hull panels free.

EXT. MAV - DAY

The nose airlock broke free, and tumbled down.

EXT. MAV - DUSK

Mark and Darcie were sitting on a hill slope, surveying their handiwork.

The MAV had been transformed. The whole front had been torn off and Hab canvas covered it. Equipment littered the area all around. They'd created a junkyard on Mars.

"Finally facing my Waterloo..."

Mark and Darcie sat, exhausted. Darcie closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

EXT. HERMES - SPACE

The Hermes halted rotation as it approached Mars.

Sol 560

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