Singed Synapses and Deranged Dendrites

Sal (#hook)

Barbara honestly had doubts about Sal as soon as she started dating him. He was a big guy, kinda pushy, never missed a meal. Still, he wooed her by elbowing out the other men interested in Barabara and in the end she couldn't resist him.

He took unnecessary risks like so many males like him do. Stubborn as a mule, there were times when he could easily have averted danger, turned the other way, but instead would face it head on, sometimes risking his own life.

"There are so many fish in the sea," said her best friend Chummie. "Surely you could do better." 

But Barbara stuck by her boyfriend. 

Sometimes he annoyed her. He would hover near her, or perch somewhere and just watch her. It felt smothering. She would muster the nerve to dump him and then he'd pull some romantic crap out of a hat and her heart would melt despite her brain groaning at his cliches. 

"You're so beautiful, baby," he would say in his gravelly voice, "you're the only one in the world for me."

He liked to do it out in the open which both thrilled Baraba and terrified her.

"Someone might see us!" she would hiss. To this Sal would say nothing, but turn on that thing about him that drove her wild. "Oh, Sal, Sal, oh!" she would moan.

One Friday night, Barabara, Chummie and Sal were out on the town looking for dinner. There were a lot of vendors in this part of town selling cheap food. Since Sal ate a lot they came here often.

"I'm thinking of going vegetarian," announced Chummie. "It's more earth-friendly and sustainable."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," said Sal rolling his eyes.

Barbara frowned, while she didn't necessarily agree with Chummie's view or want to become vegetarian herself, she wanted to support her best friend and didn't appreciate Sal's dismissive tone. But before she could think of something to say, they stopped in front of some piece of meat some yahoo was dangling like crazy trying to attract customers. 

"I'm eating this," announced Sal, looking aroused at the large hunk of flavorful meat. 

"Eww, what is it?" asked Chummie, stepping a few paces back.

"Looks like some kind of eel maybe," said Barbara.

But Sal didn't ask questions, he'd made his choice. Securing the delicacy as his own, he opened his mouth wide.

"Wait," said Barbara and Chummie in unison. They had suddenly both realized what it was. But it was too late. Sal had swallowed the delicious piece of flesh in one bite. His eyes bulged with the pain in his throat, his body tried to fight the line, and he thrashed wildly. 

And then, just like that, the fisherman reeled in his catch and Sal was gone from Barbara's life forever. 

"Good riddance," said Chummie. "I hate men. I've decided I'm a lesbian too." 

Barbara sighed, men were so complicated and difficult –if only she could overcome her natural instincts like Chummie seemed to have. But she knew next season she would fall for another male salmon. She hoped he would be slightly more intellectual than Sal.