Benley Love

Happy Valentine's Day My Love

It had been a few weeks since Ben had come over for a drink and they had sex. Miranda hadn't been able to stop thinking about the two rounds of love making. Then being held by him just left her wanting more. But he didn't seem to want more because he was still upset. Which she understood why but she thought her showing her desire for him to stay would convince him to come home.

Miranda was doing some charting when she was paged to the pit for an incoming ambulance. It was cold and raining today so she went to grab her rain coat before going down there. Just as she was making her way into the pit she saw Ben from behind. It had been months but she would recognize her husband's back and his walk anywhere.

She needed for him to know that she wanted him to come back home. She rushed to meet him before he got in the rig and left. Suddenly her nervous system was overwhelmed and she wasn't exactly sure of what she should say.

"Hey Ben," she shouted over the rain.

"Hey, MVC out on the highway. This black ice is no joke, did you put your snow tires on?" He asked.

Miranda loved that he still showed he cared by checking to make sure she did things for her safety but she missed him acting like her husband in more ways than just concern. She missed the affectionate looks and touches.

"Uhh I will....Ben I need to tell you something or rather ask you something. I don't have the words ready but my heart is."

She had seen the look of irritation from her husband several times now but it still made her feel small and not in a good way. It just reminded her that she was the reason he wasn't able to be comfortable at home, being her husband. But hopefully that would change now.

"I want you to come home Ben, please," she told him.

Confusion and uncertainty crossed his face so she began to try to convince him.

"It's lonely at the house when Tuck is gone and the fence, it blew down after the windstorm and I haven't had a chance— no come home Ben please....come home."

A small smile came across Ben's face which made Miranda's heart flutter.

"I love you....but you broke my heart. I'm not coming home because now you're lonely and the fence needs patching," Ben said as he turned to head to the rig.

"Okay, no that's not what I meant. You know I haven't been myself, it was my meds. I was working on my physical health so much that I wasn't working on mental. My anxieties they again....it wasn't the job and it wasn't your fault. I'm handling it, I'm being treated and I'm better now.

Hearing all this from Miranda, Ben wasn't sure how to feel. All of the frustration and resentment he felt lifted a little but his anger wanted him to hold on. There was a call over the radio that saved him from continuing the conversation.

"Look we have to go, talk to you later," Ben said before getting in the rig.

"Ben....I'm sorry," Miranda shouted as they drove off.

She touched the hood of her coat before just letting her arms fall to her  side. She back up out of the rain and waited for the ambulance to show up.

As Ben rode back to the fire station he thought about everything that Miranda said. He didn't know why he never considered that her OCD was manifesting in a different way. Now that he knew, all the resentment and frustration he felt towards her started melting like snow in the sun.

He just told her that her being lonely and needing things to be fixed wouldn't bring him back home. But he couldn't imagine not going home when being at home with his wife and kid is where he has wanted to be all these months.