Karthik and Anjali

letting go versus being selfish 101

"He is an idiot. I swear to god if I see him again—"

Lalitha Paati waved her hand and shook her head. "He's always been a nice boy. I've known him since he was little. I don't know why he treated Anju like that. I can't believe it."

"Paati, it's because they are men. Men are stupid," Layla said through the video call.

"I'm right here, you know," Vishal said.

"I know," Layla said, the seriousness in her face not wavering. Vishal rolled his eyes.

"When I heard Anjali come in last night, I thought she'd come in with rosy cheeks like she usually does after meeting Karthik. When I saw her walking in like a kicked out puppy in the rain, soaked from head to toe and with eyes full of tears, my heart stopped. I thought Karthik would make her happy. Instead —"

"Paati," Anjali said, resting her head on her grandmother's shoulders and hugging her tight.

"He deserves a slap on the head."

"And more," Layla pitched in.

"If this stupid man can interrupt you wise women, may I say something?" Vishal said, tugging Layla up off the bed so he could sit and pull her on his lap. "I've known Karthik for many years and while he's always been a gentleman and a nice person with a gem of a heart, he's always had two qualities that I personally had trouble with. Red flags, in your words, Layla."

"Why didn't you mention anything about this before?" Layla asked.

"I thought he changed. And he seemed like it from the conversations I overheard between you and Anjali," Vishal said.

"Okay, what are they?" Paati asked, rubbing Anjali's arms.

"When I used to play tennis with him, he used to talk a lot and keep on worrying about messing up things — be it exams, or his friendships. He was worried about disappointing his family who'd sent him to the city to study. He needed a little reassurance and confidence boosts from time to time. He is an overthinker."

"Well, aren't we all?" Anjali asked. "This I can handle. What's the other one?"

"He'll worry about things and in the end, because of his excessive worrying, he will screw things up. He's like a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"Oh my god, you show off. You just want everyone to know you know the psychology jargon," Layla said, turning in his arms and glaring at him.

Vishal grinned. "Kinda."

"Get back to the topic, children," Paati chided.

"Yeah so, if he didn't perform well like he expected to in anything or if things didn't go his way, Karthik punished himself. He was very big on that. His mind was always filled with guilt. He internalised everything even when some things were out of his control. He would blame himself, punish himself emotionally and he would withdraw. There would be so much negative self talk going on in his head. He might look all fine on the outside but he was battling himself on the inside. He used to talk about it at times and whenever I said something against the negative things he thought about himself, he would lash out badly," Vishal said.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"I remember once he broke down when we were playing. He started crying saying that he was useless and that his father is going to hate him. All because he fell sick before his physics exam and scored 68 when he promised his father he would score at least 70. I told him it wasn't his fault he caught the bug and he shouldn't beat himself too much about it. The guy snapped. He told me to not show off because I scored better than him. I was only trying to help him."