Spirit Guardian

Blood & Broken Dreams

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                   Blood stains sharp white teeth as they tear through lightly tanned skin. The scene is mirrored in doe-like eyes filled with shock and fear. Animalistic snarls and the sound of struggling filled the room, along with the smell of blood as Koda's fingers dug into Jasper's jaws from behind. His teeth sank deeper into the flesh of her hand, causing more blood to spill out while he reached out for Bella, who was just barely out of his reach. Koda wraps her left arm around his waist, keeping him in place. Crazed black irises slowly melt into chocolate brown, filled with horror, then self-loathing. Jasper goes limp against Koda's grip, allowing her to drag him out of the house with Alice right behind them. The rest of the Cullens watch in shock as Jasper's heartbeat fills their ears. Bella looks to her mate, seeking warm topaz eyes that always bring her comfort, but Edith denies her such affection. Rosalie takes Emmett's arm, leading him out of the house. Esme joins them, holding her nose. Carlisle notices Edith's agonizing face as she still refuses to look at Bella. "Edith, go check on your brother. I'm sure he is beating himself up over this," he ordered. Edith's black irises meet his, and then she disappears from view without a word. The Denali coven also leaves the room, though they aren't as affected by the blood.

                    "I'm sorry, I...," Bella tried to apologize, but Carlisle interrupted her.

                    "It's not your fault. Jasper hasn't been away from human blood as long as the rest of us," he explained, then led her into the kitchen.

                     "How are you and the Denali's the only ones who aren't affected?" Bella asked.

                    Carlisle gives her a soft smile, "Centuries of practice," he replies, then grabs cleaning supplies from under the kitchen sink.

                    "Did you ever think of... living differently?" she asked while taking a seat by the kitchen island.

                    "I enjoy my work too much. Helping people, saving lives. I'm hoping there's a point to my existence, even if I am damned...," he explained.

                    Bella looks at him in disbelief, "Damned? You could never be damned, Carlisle," she proclaimed with conviction.

                    "Thank you.... such old beliefs can be difficult to let go," he admitted.

                    "Your family was religious?" Bella asked.

                    "My father was an Anglican pastor in London during a time of religious and political upheaval. He and other pastors led hunts for werewolves, witches, and vampires, claiming they were attempting to rid the world of evil and sin. Many a time, however, they would end up killing innocent citizens. As I grew up and my father weakened from age, I was expected to take over the raids. I was less at ease about killing as my father was, but I also didn't want to disappoint him. He was all I had since my mother died giving birth to me. Such things were common back then," Carlisle explained.

                    "... I'm guessing you found a real vampire?" she asked.

                    "Yes....it seemed I was too smart for my own good.... I had found a coven of vampires inhabiting the sewers of London. Wishing to gain my father's love, I led the hunt after the coven, and in the chaos that ensued, I was attacked and left bleeding in the street by a vampire. Knowing what my.... father would do if I returned home.... I decided to hide in a potato cellar for the painful transformation. After three agonizing days, I emerged from the cellar as a vampire......I know you've asked Edith to turn you, and that's why I believe you should know how much control religion has over people's minds during our human lives. My father drilled his beliefs and ideals into my mind since before I could walk. I could practically hear what he would say to me if he saw me, and those thoughts filled me with self-hate and disgust to the point I tried various ways of killing myself, including starvation, drowning, and jumping off cliffs," he admitted in a shameful tone with his head lowered leaving Bella utterly shocked. Carlisle finally lifts his head and looks at Bella, "Edith's father had the same beliefs and held a tight grip over his household, but his daughter suffered the most. Edith was a constant reminder that Elizabeth couldn't give him the son he deserved to carry the family name, but also, he saw the signs of Edith's desires," he said in a severe voice.