Reunion - Mapi Leon x Reader

Chapter 10 - Benched

I run into the training grounds in the same dirty kit from yesterday. I’ve managed to scrape my hair up into a messy bun, but the look Ale gives me tells me I haven’t done a very good job of looking put together. Somehow these last few months I’ve managed to get by just fine, but as soon as someone good shows up I’m suddenly a complete mess. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?

I begin to warm up on the side of the pitch - I do not want to get injured on top of everything - before going to join in with the girls. I put my full focus into giving the team my normal best, and I think it shows. I feel better about yesterday's horrible performance at least. When the girls go to have a water break, Ale pulls me aside.

“They’re going to bench you for the game next weekend.”
“That’s probably fair.” I sigh, still feeling disappointed. I haven’t exactly proved I deserve to play though, so I understand.
“Mapi, I was talking to the coach about you this morning, and I think I’m going to pull you out of training for the rest of the day, and we’re going to talk.” I go to interrupt her, but she stops me. “I need a bit of a break anyway. My knee is not so great today.”
“No. Ale. I can’t prove that I should be taken off the bench if I’m not training.”
“You’re exhausted.”
“I’ve been sleeping better recently.”
“Really?”
“Kind of.”

Alexia gives me a look that tells me she isn’t going to budge, so I take my boots off as I sit down. If I’m not going to be allowed to train, and if Alexia wants to talk, then I’m going to at least be on the pitch. I need to feel like I’m still a part of everything.
“Okay, here’s what I know.” Alexia starts as she slowly joins me on the ground. “You feel like your game has been off since you sent the letter. It hasn’t. You’ve been playing fine. Ever since you asked me about this Peyton, Carlota, whatever her name girl your game has been off. I don’t know if the two are connected, but I don’t exactly know much about your personal life. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Her name’s Lottie. That’s what I call her at least.”
“And why did you ask me what her name was then?”
“She’s back in Spain after 7 years away, and although I haven’t seen her for a long time, she still…”
I trail off not knowing how to explain it. I haven’t given her much to think about, but she considers what I’ve said for a moment.

“She still what?”
“I’ve known her since she was about 5 and I was 8. She’d play football with my brother and his friends and I, in the local park. The boys were pretty good at letting me play, as I’d basically been doing it my entire life. They were used to it. I don’t think the boys saw me as a girl, because I didn’t act like what they thought a girl should. So when Lottie wanted to play in her pink t-shirt and sparkly tutu, they didn’t like it. I became her biggest advocate for her to be able to play with us, and as we grew older, and we didn’t seem as far apart in age as we used to, we both began to confide in each other. We knew everything about each other. And, then when she was 18 she left everything behind, and that sorta hurt if I’m being honest. I lost the one person who fully understood me.”

Alexia’s quiet again.
“I know you pride yourself on being fun, bright, and bubbly Mapi; the hard working defender of Barça, constantly striving for excellence in what you do. But even though you’re really good at making other people happy and encouraging them, you’re not so good at letting people past the surface. I’m going to assume you’ve seen her since she’s been back?”
I nod. “Yeah. It was a little awkward at first, but we’re basically back to how we used to be.”
“I figured that may be the case.”
“Okay Detective Putellas. Tell me what else you’ve figured out.”
“Have you been able to tell her about how Euros last year made you feel?”
I slowly nod again.
“I think you never really processed what happened. I think her being around has let you do this, and now you’re feeling all these well overdue emotions, and you aren’t quite sure how to manage it.”

She’s put the puzzle pieces together for me, and been able to explain exactly what’s going in my head for me. She’s wonderful at that. Finding what problems are and being able to fix them, whether on the football field or behind the scenes, is the reason she’s our captain.

“I think while she’s still here, you need to take a break from football. Focus on getting yourself into a better emotional state, and then come back full force. Playing like you are at the moment isn’t going to make you feel good about yourself.”
“I don’t want to stop playing, but I think you may be right.” I admit this to her, and she looks over at me proudly. I assume this is the end of our conversation, and go to stand up, but she speaks again.

“Also. One other thing. You know how I asked if you like her?”
“Yeah?” I reply hesitantly. I’ve already had one deep, kind of uncomfortable conversation. I don’t know if I can deal with another.
“Do you?”
“I..” And the realisation hits me like a truck. A hit straight to the heart as it pangs against my chest uncomfortably. But, I can’t like her. She’s… well there’s so many reasons. In a relationship (questionably), straight, lives in the US, a stranger yet also my best friend, and most importantly of all she’s Lottie. I don’t like Lottie Aguila. But, I know that’s a lie as I think it. Shit.

Ale looks up at me with a look of concern. “I’ve opened another can of worms for you, haven’t I?”
“Yeah. You’re too good at this. After you retire from football you should be a therapist.” I try to laugh at this, but she stands up and gives me a hug.
“Go home and rest.” I walk towards the building, as she calls after me. “And just a little warning. We will talk again.”

(She's too bloody good. Now it's back to me again. Well done does1tmatt3r. 🙄 . Love ya<3)