Grieving and Jealous

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Grief is weird. When you get sick, grief takes up your thoughts. The weird part is, no one died. There was no funeral or burial that causes your grief. But in a way, someone did die. You did. The person you were dissipates. You're left grieving the life you had. Grieving the life you wanted. The life you could've had. Used to be an athlete, dancer, actor, and more. Now, those things are extremely hard for me to do because I am unable to stand for normal amount of time. These activities were my life. My strength. 

Jealousy is more a big part of it. I am constantly jealous of other around me. The ones who can run, jump, dance, live their lives to the fullest. My sibling is healthy. Barely no health issues whatsoever. I love him. But, somewhere in my head I despise him for being able to have the life that I have always wanted and can never have. Being on social media is also weird. I am constantly seeing others videos of them living their lives. I am also in the light sharing my experiences and my journey. 

The thoughts of a chronically ill teenWhere stories live. Discover now