If love could win

The classroom

Wille stepped inside the classroom. He wore an orange pullover and a white collared shirt. Blue jeans. I pretended that I did not notice him, but I did. His presence made my heart beat faster. Made my hands sweaty. I still loved him and it hurt so bad. In a way I wished that I did not have feelings for him anymore. It would have made it easier to move on. I had tried to move on. Earlier that week I had been at karaoke with Ayoub. Marcus had invited me and we sang Främling by Carola. It had been fun, but I had thought of Wille the entire time.

"Can I sit here?" I heard Wille ask me. I said he could. "I just thought you might want that space you find so nice." I sighed. I had told him I needed space when we spoke in the library. He had hurt me and he needed to understand that.

"I am just telling you how I feel. You might want to try that sometime," I said. He took the orange pullover off and sat down next to me. He was mad. I could tell. I could not understand how he could not realize that he had hurt me. If someone should be angry, it was me. I had been angry. Now I was more hurt and sad. Disappointed. He had told me he would not lie to the media. The next time I saw his face he was lying about the tape. The tape that had ruined everything. I still wondered who had been so cruel. It had to be someone at the school. I had my suspicions about some third years, but I could not know who had done it for sure. The teacher came into the classroom and we stood behind our chairs. Just as we were supposed to by the tradition. This school had lots of them. We opened our textbooks and then we heard someone knock on the door. It was the headmistress and an old man I did not recognize from the school staff. I saw on Wille that he knew who he was. So he was from the royal court then. What was he doing there? Why was he standing in the doorway of our maths class?

"If the Crown prince could come with me and take all his things with him. We are in a hurry," the man said. He seemed strict. Just like you would assume someone from the royal court to be. Poor Wille. He had grown up with those kinds of people. All his life. Even if my home situation was not perfect, I preferred my problems. Wille took his books and pen with him and left the classroom. I looked behind me where Felice was sitting. She looked at me as if she wanted to tell me she did not know what was going on. I felt my phone buzz against my leg. I tried to look at it without the teacher noticing. It was Felice. She wrote that Wille was to leave Hillerska. That could not happen. Felice was not as discreet about the phone and the teacher confiscated it. I looked at the empty seat next to me. Wille's pull over was still on the chair. When no one looked I took it and let my fingers touch the soft fabric. I put it in my bag. If Wille really was to leave Hillerska, that might be the only physical memory I had left. The only thing I had left that proved that he was real. That what we once had was real. Not only a wild daydream on my part. I asked the teacher if I could use the bathroom. I was not going to the bathroom. I had maybe one last chance to speak to him ever again. His mother did not want us to stay in contact, I was pretty sure. Maybe I could talk to the headmistress. Try to help him. But my top priority was to see him. I went down to the dorms where I supposed that Wille would be. I guessed that his security and that man would be with him. I did not have a plan on how I would get past them. That was a problem I would have to get around somehow. I got to the corridor where Wille lived. That room where I had taken care of him when he was high and drunk. That room where we had made love for the first time. Where I had told him he was brave. And then he left me all alone. I was not like that. I knew myself. As long as I loved him and I knew he loved me I could never leave him. That was how I ended up getting hurt. Sara had told me to not give people so many opportunities to hurt me. Maybe she was right. But it was just me getting hurt by my stupidity to go after him. The male bodyguard was stationed outside the door. I saw that he had seen me. I walked closer to the door.

"If you touch me, I will scream," I heard Wille say. He sounded desperate. Then I heard screaming. It was Wille. It sounded as if they had a wrestling match in there. If they hurt him, I did not know what I would do. I fought my way inside his bedroom. Wille was sitting on the floor and a snow globe was shattered next to him. He was crying. Wille had told me that the snow globe was the last gift his brother gave him before he died. Before the adults in the room could react to me being in there I sunk to my knees and embraced Wille.