lover boy & dollar store girl ♬ matt sturniolo

VIII

CHAPTER VIII
[ making the bed ]
♬

     matt didn't know what possessed him to do it. he didn't feel quite himself when he drove to the dollar store alone. he didn't really decide to, either- it was as if some foreign entity pushed him to, and when he found himself parked out front, he couldn't stop the urge to walk inside.
this is a bad idea, the boy told himself. she's upset. this is a bad fucking idea.

     when he walked through the front doors, there wasn't a soul in sight. the store radio was fuzzy and quiet enough he couldn't make out the song; there were no customers pushing carts around the aisles, and no pretty register girls to talk to. matt decided to stroll the aisles for a while until somebody appeared.
     as he walked around, the boy noticed he'd never really given the store a good look before. every single shelf was perfectly organized in clean rows and clusters, not a speck of dust to be found. the lipsticks were displayed in color order, and the mugs were all angled with the handles facing left. everything he looked at, he saw traces of minnie. he imagined her standing where he was and wasting an hour trying to perfect a shelf of craft supplies, trying not to go cross-eyed with boredom.

     a rustling sound grew louder at the back of the store, and matt peeked over the aisle to see a head of coffee-colored hair pushing a cart full of metallic halloween-colored garland to the front. the waves swooped forward the way minnie's tended to, and his hands felt frozen all of a sudden. his legs went rogue as they began walking, ignoring the alarms in his brain.

     "hey,"

     the employee came to a halt, turning around with a ghastly expression. minnie was makeupless, and her hoodie was drawn loose around her neck. matt followed her chipped nails as they reached for the hoodie strings dangling over her apron, waiting patiently for a reply.

     "i haven't heard from you in a while." matt said.

     "sorry."

     "why?"

     matt stepped a little closer and caught a glimpse of the dark rings under her eyes. she stood still, eyelashes curling over her eyes like dropping cobwebs disguising her dark eyes. even when she was exhausted, matt couldn't help but grow weak at the sight of her.

     "i've been working." the girl spoke shortly.

     minnie began to push the cart again, leaving him standing alone. she started to grab bunches of garland, peeling off the tags and throwing them haphazardly into the trash behind her register counter. matt stood quietly and watched her grab a step stool from under the counter and lug it over to the front doors.

     "do you want help?" he asked.

     minnie didn't even turn around before she snapped, "no."

     "minn, you can barely reach the doorframe on that thing-"

     "i said i don't need help, matt," the girl groaned, moving harshly to turn around on the ladder. "do you need something or-"

     matt watched her misstep before she even recognized it, and he lurched forward to try and catch the girl as she lost her footing. minnie fell forward off the ladder, and matt only just reached her enough to break her fall- his back hit the ground hard, and pain rippled through his shoulder blades; minnie's face smacked into his chest as she tried to reach his shoulders and missed. the two groaned in a heap, and she quickly rolled off him, embarrassed beyond belief.

     "are you okay?" the cashier rushed to help him sit up.

     matt grimaced as she pulled him up by the arms, but he made it to his feet before nodding softly. "yeah, i'm fine. are you?"

     "huh?"

     "minnie, what's going on?"

     he looked so sad. and she knew it was her fault. it had only been a short while knowing him, and she's barely given it a chance before she managed to ruin it all. she let him take her to his house and feed her brownies, and he listened to her music and liked it, and he made her feel beautiful, and the feeling in her heart was so close to that four letter word that she couldn't bear to let it go on any longer. i'm too much for him, she promised herself. i'm not meant for this.

matt pushed more. "what happened the other night?"

"i just panicked a little bit. it's fine. i got over it."

"i get attacks too, minnie. i have awful anxiety. i could've helped you thr-"

     "god, you don't stop, do you?"

     matt frowned, "minn, we haven't talked since the other night. i- i want you to tell me what's wrong!"

     "matt, leave it be."

     "but i can help, i swear! i can do whatever you need me to-"

     "jesus!" the girl laughed listlessly, her eyes burning. "you never know when to stop! can't you just fucking leave me alone?"

     matt was going to reach for her hand like last time, but there was no point. her face was stoic, and his certainly wasn't. there was pain written all over it.

     "i thought you... i thought this was," the boy trailed off.

     minnie ignored him and stepped back onto the stepladder and wiped at her face, pushing away silent tears.

     "fine. i'll leave you be."

     as quickly as the boy came, he disappeared through the doors. minnie couldn't watch him drive away, because there were too many tears in her eyes. she wanted to scream, to punch directly through the glass and tell him to come back, that she was sorry and she missed him too and she has no idea why she can't fucking keep a relationship to save her life, but she didn't. she just stood in front of the windows and cried, and hoped that she'd fall again and feel the kind of pain he must have from trying to save her.