Sander Sides Oneshots

Pretend dating (Virgil)

Idea: Virgil asks Remus to pretend to date him for a family gathering, not because he's tired of being asked why he's single, but to piss off his family.

TW: Remus being Remus, homophobia, mention of dying (as a joke) 

If there's anything else please let me know.

Virgil:
As I walked in the house, my phone rang. I answered while putting down my things, "Hello?"

I heard my mom on the other line, "Virgil! I've been texting you all day. Why haven't you answered?"

I sighed, "Mom, I had work today remember. I don't message until I get home. What did you need?"

"You have to come to the family reunion this weekend.  This is the last one before your sister goes off to college. Please?" I could hear the pleading in her voice. 

I hadn't attended the last few because of the whole 'when are you getting a girlfriend' talk I got from everyone. I sigh and finally say, "I'll come, if I can bring someone with me. A..."

My mom practically squealed cutting me off, "Yes yes yes! Who is it? A girlfriend?"

I wince a bit, despite me being happily out she stilled asked that from time to time. I decide to just play along and think about how to do this, "It's a surprise mom. I'll see you on Saturday." 

After I hung up the phone, I gracelessly fell face first onto the couch. I debated on calling her back and telling her I changed my mind when my roommate, Remus, walked in. He was covered in dirt and looked like he had been grave robbing, which I would've thought that if I didn't know where he worked. He took one look at me and went, "Rough day?"

I nodded, "Got a call from my mom. She wants me to attend the family reunion this weekend. I told her I was bringing someone. And now I don't know what to do because I told her it's a surprise and she might think I have a partner."

"OoOoOo, You could do the whole Fake dating thing!!!" He excitedly plops next to me, effectively getting dirt all over the couch.

"Fake Dating?" I think for a moment before nodding, "I could do that. But who to bring? Logan would never. Patton and Roman are dating and I don't trust Janus."

"Why not me?"

I almost laugh, "My family would hate you. No offence but you are the opposite of what they expect." 

"Exactly! They meet me and they stop asking and when they meet me they'll hate it. And maybe they'll stop asking you to things." He's almost bouncing with excitement with his ideas. 

I think for a second, then I smile, "That's a great idea! And really just be you I want to have fun."

"Okay! But one question." He is actually bouncing at this point, making the couch shake. I give him a questioning look, "What should I wear?"

I laugh again and we start talking about our plans for the weekend. I knew this family reunion was going to be the best one ever. We decide that Remus would wear a dress and heals and I'd wear the gothest clothes I own and I'll do both of our makeup. With everything set, I felt a lot more comfortable with going this weekend. My best friend and roommate was going to be there and we were going to mess with my family.

~Time Skip to the weekend~

Despite our plans being solid, I couldn't help but fidget while Remus drove to the place. We decided that he would drive because there was a chance I wouldn't make it there if I drove. The group chat was blowing up, mostly from Patton and Roman. We told them our plans and they wanted every single detail from the gathering. 

I sent them a quick text letting them know we just got to the place and we'll message them afterwards. I turned my phone off, so I wouldn't go on it and cause a whole other scene. Remus opened my door and helped me out. I smile at him nervously and grab his arm to head inside. As soon as the two of us step inside, it goes silent and all heads turn to us. I almost go right back out of the house but Remus stopped me. 

" Hello everyone! I'm Virgil's new boyfriend Remus. It's nice to meet you all" He says so loud that all of my family 100% heard it. I wanted to die, especially when my grandfather loudly burst out laughing. 

My grandfather comes up to us and holds our his hand to Remus, who takes it, "Welcome to the family Remus. If anyone gives you problems, let me know, I'll straighten them out."

"I will Sir. I am so excited to be here." Remus says enthusiastically. 

"Well I am happy you could join us." He leads us into the living room and we all take a seat so we could talk, "I am so happy Virgil has someone. You know, I use to have a boyfriend. It was so long ago, before I met your grandmother, Virgil."

"I didn't know that. What happened?" I ask, curious. I've never heard this story from my grandfather. 

"Life. It wasn't accepted at the time and it was safer for us to go our separate ways. I'm glad you two can be out in the world now." He says, with a touch of sadness in his voice. 

"I am too sir. Thank you so much for having me today. I can't wait to meet the rest of the family." Remus says, smiling, a smile that had a hint of mischief in it. I hoped he wasn't going to do anything too crazy.

A bit later, after my grandpa left and Remus and I had gotten food, my least favorite aunt came over to talk with us. As soon as she got near, I grabbed Remus's hand. He had heard stories about this aunt and knew I didn't like being around her or talking to her. She sat next to me and stared at me for a minute before saying, "So you're one of those gays now?"

I gulped and just nodded. She always made me feel like a child, no matter how old I got. Remus squeezed my hand gently, reminding me he was still there. Remus smiled at her, more of a threatening smile than a warm smile, "Is there something wrong with liking someone of the same gender?"

She returned his smile and said, "Well I don't approve of it and I would never permit my children to turn out that way. I find it disgusting." 

"How unfortunate. You would deprive your children of actual love and force them into a loveless marriage like you have. What husband are you on now? 3? 4?" He said with the same smile, but his eyes showing he was going a bit crazy.

Her faced turned bright red and she sputtered for a minute before getting up suddenly, "Virgil your...friend... has no manners. You should associate yourself with better people" 

With that she left us alone for the rest of the evening. We talked with my cousins, all of whom were so excited to meet Remus. The cousin I'm closest with asked how we did our makeup. I explained to her how I did it and told her to come over anytime and I'd teach her. Before we left, Remus had said he would put on a little show for everyone. 

It was the best show I'd ever seen. He went full drag with the performance. Everyone loved it, except that one aunt. She got so annoyed that she left early. After that was over and we had dessert, we said goodbye to everyone and finally left for the night. As Remus drove us home I thought about how much fun I have with him and how I have feelings for him, more than a friend should. He was my rock and with all he does good, bad and batshit crazy, he is always there for me. 

Before I knew what I was saying I blurted out, "I love you Remus."

He looked at me for a second and said, "I love you too Virgie, I always have."

I smiled, happy to be with him, "So I guess this means we aren't fake dating anymore."

"I guess not. Darn I was having fun. Maybe next time I can bring a raccoon to put in your aunt's bag. I'd love to see her face." 

I snort, "Same. Next time would be Christmas, and that's a hug deal in your family. I wouldn't want to take that away from you."

"Then you just have to join me then. You'll have waaaaay more fun with my family anyway. They're not as stuffy as your family." He smiles.

Word Count: 1443

I hope you enjoyed this. I know the ending isn't great, I wasn't sure how I should end it. On another note: I started college! Have a good day/night everyone.