The Dead 3

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They soon continued watching the episodes and came to the one where Cas made the deal and Cas felt Dean and Jack go rigid.

"Jack-", he started, "Did you know?", Jack asked interrupting, "Did I know what?", Cas asked as if not understanding.

"Did you know that your happiness always depended on Dad's love?", Jack asked and Dean looked up at Cas, both locking eyes.

"I did and since I thought he wouldn't love me it brought me more pain making even the smallest happiness seem like nothing, but it started wavering", Cas said.

"After my prayer in purgatory", Dean completed understanding and Cas nodded, "That's why I distanced myself", Cas said.

"What happened in purgatory?", Kevin asked, "You will see", Cas said, the episode where Rowena died was a little tense.

"You are an idiot Dean", she said as she saw Dean not stopping Cas from leaving, "I know", Dean said softly.

"But you deserved it", Crowley said and Dean narrowed his eyes at the King of Hell, "What? I wouldn't have done half of the things he did to either of you and you kept on commanding him like a lapdog, I would have killed you", he said and Sam and Dean looked at each other.

"Crowley", Cas warned, "Yeah yeah", Crowley said silencing himself, "He is right", Sam said, "We are sorry Cas, we shouldn't have treated you like shit for what we did and what John or Mary did", Sam said and Cas smiled softly.

"It's ok", he said pulling Dean closer if possible, "Don't you dare feel guilty", he whispered into his husband's ears, Dean chuckled and cuddled closer to Cas as now Jack had moved and had his leg on Sam's lap.

The Purgatory scene came and all were very excited to see what was gonna happen,

"Sorry about Benny", Cas said, "I owed him my life. And he sacrificed himself to get Sam out of this place", Dean said.

"Well, this place will bring that out in you. Guilt. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day", Cas said remembering each day they were in that place.

"I know you're sorry, Cass. About Bel, about Mom", Dean said and Cas squinted his eyes and looked at Dean a little angry.

"I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it", Cas said with a sass.

"Burn, ooh Sass Cas", Charlie said and Cas chuckled, "Ha ha very funny", Dean said and all laughed...

"Sorry, I brought it up. Maybe if you didn't just up and leave us", Dean said and Cas wanted to slam Dean to a wall in anger and... let's leave it there.

"You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me", Cas said and Dean felt like 1000 trucks had hit him in the face.

"Ouch", Kevin said, "Yeah", Dean said, "Sorry", Cas said, "Don't be, you had to let it out and I am glad you did", Dean said and they showed the scene where Chuck showed Sam the possible future.

"What are you saying?", Sam asked, "What I've been trying to say for months, it's time, time to stand down", Dean said walking into the room.

"You want to quit? What's happened to you, Dean? Ever since", Sam asked and was interrupted, "Ever since what? We lost pretty much every one we've ever cared about?", Dean asked his anger rising.

"Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box? Ever since then? Yeah", Dean shouted, he was breaking atom by atom.

"That was intense", Crowley said and Cas raised his eyebrow, "Gee, who died?", he asked, "You are gonna", Dean said and Crowley rolled his eyes.

"Cas!", Dean called leaning against a tree, "No, no, no", he said gasping lightly as he felt an oncoming panic attack.

"Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong", Dean admitted praying and he exhaled sharply.

He was tearing up and his knees buckled making him slide down...

"Oh Dean", Jody said softly seeing her son-like figure crying so vulnerably...

"I ohh, I don't know why I get so angry. I just know I know that it's i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just comes out. And I can't I can't stop it. No matter how", he stopped choking a little.

"H-how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And... And I... I forgive you, of course, I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry it took me till now to say it", Dean said and wiped his tears.

"Cas, I'm I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me", he said sniffling and getting up and taking a deep breath.

"Oh wow", Sam said, "So that happened", Bobby said all in a daze, they had never seen Dean so vulnerable, ever.

Even John and Mary were shocked, this was their son, their soldier son begging and praying to an angel.

"Ok stop being sappy all of you, I mean it", Dean said and they all rolled their eyes, they all continued watching the episodes and John's mind was also changing.

Maybe his son's love was true, maybe that is what love is, he thought as he saw his son and son-in-law happy in each other's arms.

They again continued watching the episodes and the next episode was funny as Garth had named his twins Sam and Castiel and Dean was a little upset about it.

"How much did you talk to him about Cas if he is naming his child after?", Rowena asked, "A little too much I think", Dean said smiling.

They all smiled at how much he was relaxed and in love, and all laughed when they saw the ending where Dean was holding baby Castiel.

"This is Castiel is looking at me weird", Dean said rocking the baby and Sam chuckled, "So just like our Cas", Sam said...

All laughed and continued watching the episode sometimes awwing at Jack and the couple, sometimes wincing and laughing and all that.

But Dean's smile dropped as he saw the intro of the 18th episode, the 18th episode of the 15th season, he remembered that day too well and he curled up into a ball in Cas's arms who rubbed Dean's back softly.

"It's ok, I am here, we are alright", Cas said and Dean nodded smiling slightly and the episode continued...

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