Collection of short one shots of Nicky. Mix of styles, some casual conversations, some spicy, some cute idk. Taking requests coz the lack of fics about her is criminal.
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{TW: talks of drug use}
"What is this?" You hold up the small baggy you've just found. It still contains small remnants of the white powder that previously occupied it. "Huh?" Nicky looks up and blinks at it, "oh, me and Tye went halves on that the other week." She tries to say casually but you hear the hint of guilt. There's a long pause. "What?" Why didn't she tell you about this before, was she hiding it? "Come on, it's only sniff." She continues when you don't respond, "what? Am I not allowed to let loose every once in a while?"
Sure, the fact she felt like she needed more than just alcohol on a night out might be cause for concern but that's not your main issue. It's that it was hidden.
"Yeah," you say blankly, "you are." You watch her, "but, you know... it's a slippery slope."
Maybe you shouldn't have said that.
"To smack?" She raises her eyebrows in annoyance, closing her laptop, "you think coke is a slippery slope to heroin?" "You know what I mean." "Yeah, I'm not stupid." She's frowning now. "Well you certainly seem it." You say under your breath.
Maybe you should shouldn't have said that either.
"Hey, screw you! Screw your holier-than-thou attitude," she's stood up now too, her voice raised, "just because you managed to 'kick the habit' doesn't mean you get to go around judging me!" "Uh, sorry?!" Did you mishear? "Didn't we both kick the habit or is coke not the only thing you've been hiding from me?" You feel the heat rising to your face. She starts shaking her head. "Oh God, here we fuckin go. What am I taking heroin again now too? Injecting it between my fucking toes so you don't catch on? Huh?!" "Well, I don't know are you?!" "You really have to ask??" "You know I can't be here if you slip into it again." "You can't be here if I take one hit of coke again?" "That's not what I said-" She's not listening, she's not finished her rambling. "You're right. What was I thinking? Of course you've given me an ultimatum: me or drugs. What do you think, I'm gonna choose you?"
You can tell she regrets what she's just said as it leaves her mouth, even if she's not one to show it.
"Wow." She'd choose drugs over you? You step back, hurt, "I wasn't saying that, fucking hell." You pause, feeling tears prick at your eyes, "At least now I know where you stand and what my value is." "No-" She's blinking rapidly, "that's not what I-" "You know I can't deal with this again." Past relationships bubble to the front of your mind, "I have better self worth than that." You start to leave the room, everything is too warm and you can feel your emotions spiralling, you just need cold air.
"No, no, no, hey, wait- please," Nicky follows behind you, reaching for your shoulder but you shrug away. You need to clear your head. "Please, I didn't mean that, you know I didn't mean that." Her voice is cracking now. You fumble with the lock on the door. "Y/n please!" She pulls your shoulder so you face her, "please I can't- I just need you to stay." She's shaking her head, her face pleading, you see now the tears welling in her eyes and the deep fear in her expression. This is a level of vulnerability rare with her. You don't want to see her so upset you want to hold her and tell her you're sorry, that you over reacted. But, it doesn't override the implication she made, that she's hiding drug use... "I won't, I wont do it again. You're worth more than that, okay? To me. Please don't leave." There's so much anxiety within her about you leaving and you can see it now. The argument wasn't itself the problem but the fear of you leaving her pushed her over the edge. You sigh, leaning back against the door, breathing, thinking. "Please just don't leave me." She repeats quietly. "Nicky," you say, regaining composure and speaking at a normal level, slowly so you can say what you mean, "I wasn't- I'm not saying you can't have fun and ... get fucked up. I just- I don't want you to hide that from me, I don't give a shit if you're keying coke in bar bathrooms, or," you waft your hands as you speak, "popping MD in the club toilets, but please just at least tell me about it. I just want you to be careful... and safe." She closes her eyes and breathes in, a tear sliding down her cheek as she does. Guilt at not being forthright, and for the ensuing argument. She didn't want to upset you and and more importantly she doesn't want to lose you.
Miscommunication and misunderstanding seems to be your strong suit as a pair.
"I'm sorry," she says quietly, you reach up and thumb the tear from her face as she speaks, you can't help yourself, "the last thing I want to do is let you down... I, uh, I thought if I just didn't bring it up, nothing could go wrong. Which, uh, went swimmingly," she steps closer. She looks down, ashamed of the outburst. You run your hand down to her shoulder and pull her into a hug. She wraps her arms around you instantaneously, letting out a soft sigh. "I didn't mean it," her voice is muffled against you, "you know that if you did give me an ultimatum I'd choose you in a heartbeat." You kiss her head, "I know, and I promise, I'm not going anywhere." Her arms tighten around you.
{okayyy it's not as dramatic as I think you wanted but it's hard cause Nicky is like quite bottled up with her feelings, but i tried. you can dramatise it in your head. idk. i also did this kinda quick so probably not my best}
