Love's Bite | Astarion x Tav Fanfic

Blood Lust

I tossed and turned in my bed roll. Astarion stirred beside me. I sat up, trying not to wake him. He was in a peaceful slumber.
I decided to go for a walk. My mind was restless. All I could think about was entrails.
I walked over to the lake by the Last Light Inn.
"You called me, Milady?" Came a voice from behind.
I jumped, "what the fuck?"
I turned to see a small creature staring back. It was my butler. I had only met him once, the night after Alfira was killed, and prayed to the gods he wouldn't appear again. Part of me repressed the memory of him. I didn't to will the butler to come back. Yet, here he was.
"There is but one thing on your mind. And it won't go away, until your thirsty urge is sated," he said.
I groaned, "can you just go away?"
He shook his head, "I come here for I wish to bring you another powerful tithe. But I cannot grant you this prize yet. You must do something devinely unspeakable first."
"What?" I asked.
With the wave of his hand a girl appeared. I immediately recognised her. It was Isobel.
"You will see receive a Royal prize for killing this pretty girl."
"No," I crossed my arms.
"Uh uh, do it by tomorrow night or there will be consequences," and then he was gone.
I signed. If I killed Isobel, the Last Light Inn would be doomed. I couldn't.
I walked back to my bedroll and lay beside Astarion. He slept peacefully. For a moment I wondered if Cazador haunted his dreams, if he lost sleep over it. My thoughts circled, and my breathing became heavy. I could feel myself panicking, over everything. My blood lust, the tadpole, and Cazador.
"Astarion," I shook him lightly.
He stirred.
"Astarion...."
"What?" He asked half asleep.
"Hold me....please?"
Astarion reached out to me and pulled me closer. He dug his face into my neck, then lightly kissed it. Before falling back into a slumber. I lay there in his arms. He was cold, but the nights air was warm. I couldn't feel his chest rise and fall, becoming starkly aware of just how undead he was. Still, I felt at peace in his arms. Eventually, I fell asleep.
"Wake up darling," Astarion lightly shook me.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"Sleep poorly?" He asked.
"The thoughts were too much," I said.
He stroked my hair, "I'm listening."
"I didn't tell you before, but this creature keeps visiting me. That's how I got that cloak that turns me invisible."
"Did you hit that pretty little head of yours?"
I shook my head, "he's real. He says his my butler. The first time he came, he explained the dark urge to me. Apparently it runs in my bloodline, and they want me to continue my birthright. Last night when he came, I was instructed to kill Isobel. I don't know why, he just said I'd be rewarded."
Astarion thought for a moment.
"Is that why you woke me up in the middle of the night?"
I nodded.
"Next time you need me, tell me," he said.
"You did more than enough," I took his hand, and held it.
"So, do you know what this reward is?" He raised a brow.
"I'm not killing her. I won't give in to this. It would be wrong," I frowned.
"I know, I know. You're too good. That's part of you charms," he smiled.
I could see his fangs popping out as he grinned. My eyes shifted to scarlet eyes, then his lips. I leaned in for a kiss. We lingered for a moment. I felt my lips tingle. When our faces parted, he gazed into my eyes, and smiled.
"Come on, we need to hit the road," he said.
I nodded. We got up and threw on our armour, ready to explore for the day.

————

Throughout the day, the butler crossed my mind. I wondered about his threats, would something come of them? If so, who would be my next innocent victim?
I did see Isobel that day. I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind. The idea of her innards splattered on the floor excited me. There was a compulsion that pulled me towards her, but I pushed it down. When I returned to camp, the urge still lingered. I barely managed to fall into a slumber even with Astarion there.
Just when I thought I'd sleep through the night, my stomach began to churn, and gore filled my thoughts. I sat up. Astarion lay quietly beside me. I watched his hair sway in the breeze. He looked so peaceful.
"He is afraid. So, so afraid. Of everyone, besides you, who he ought to fear the most," it spoke.
The butler appeared beside him.
"You could do so much better. Milady," he said.
"Get away from him!"
"I won't lay so much as a talon on him. I wouldn't rob you of that delight," the butler smirked.
'No! It can't be him. Not him,' I thought.
"Your repressed urge yearns to kill. And you will kill. Tonight. The moment you close your eyes again, your favourite person will be brutalised."
"No. I love him," I spat.
"We all kill what we love most, in time," he taunted me.
I glanced at Astarion. My heart ached. That was the first time I uttered those words aloud and they weren't even directed at him. I did love him, and I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him.
"You like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that. Why not make him a pretty corpse?"
I shook my head, "he won't die tonight."
"It's my duty to ensure you make the right decisions, master. There was much disappointment at your reluctance to kill the moonmaiden. You could kill this one deliberately. I'm sure it will be considered a great show of good will. The tithe could still be yours."
"Piss off," I told him.
"I have no doubt you will act with a decorum befitting one of your rank," he said. "Good night, sweet lady."
The butler faded, as if he was never there.
I approached Astarion. He slept peacefully. As I reached out my hand to wake him, I felt a sudden urge to wrap my hands around his throat. I began to feel my mind black out.
"Astarion!" I shook him.
"Well, hello. Looking for a cuddle?" He asked playfully as he sat up.
I shook my head, trying to prevent myself from fading.
"What's going on in that head of yours? You don't look yourself."
"Now's not the time!" My mind drifted between darkness and lucidity.
I recalled the nights events, ".....it's the urge. I will kill you."
"I'd rather be the only dark power in your body. If it's all the same to you."
"Astarion!"
"Okay, okay. Whatever it is we can fight it. I know that better than anyone," he said.
I watched him, about to speak. Then my mind faded. When I awoke, I was ravenous. I tried to stand but my hands and feet were bound.
"This thing won't have you. It won't win," Astarion said.
I struggled to be free of my bonds. My teeth snapped together.
"It's common courtesy to ask before we bite."
I thrashed harder. Astarion tied my hands incredibly well. All I could think of was him laying in a pool of his own blood.
"Easy now darling, you've got this. And I've got you."
"The bruises I will give you shall gorge themselves on your blood," I said with disdain.
"Of course they will, dear. Now just relax, dawn will be here soon."
I blacked out completely after that. I couldn't remember a single thing.

Just before dawn I awoke of sound mind. Astarion walked over and cut my bonds.
"Now that your back with us, we need to talk."
I told him everything this time. Not missing a single detail.
"You're not in this alone - none of us are. We can even compare notes if you like."
I shook my head. "You're allowed to hate me for this," I said.
"I don't hate you, because this is not you. But whatever this is, you will get through it, and I will be here to help you."
I watched him and realised, I really did love this man.
"Astarion...."
I couldn't tell him. It would scare him off. If there was one thing I knew he was scared of, it was being trapped. What would my words do?
"Yes?"
"The butler said something...."
"What?" He asked.
"That you don't believe I like you for more than your looks," I said.
"I...- that doesn't matter right now."
"So, it's true?"
"Well, I mean.....this feels too good to be true."
"Astarion. Yes, you are beautiful. But that's only a small part of you," I said.
He watched me.
".....you're emotionally aware. You understand me. And most of all, I want to protect you. You've drawn a shitty hand in life. No one deserves to face what you've dealt with. You're more than your looks, your body, and you're sure as hell more than sex. Know your self worth."
Astarion seemed taken aback, "still taking me by surprise, aren't you?"
I laughed.
"This was about you, you know," he said.
"Shut up and hug me," I told him.
Astarion wrapped his arms around me. Did he know I loved him? Could he read between the lines? One day I'd tell him. But not today.