As the Ash Settles

Chapter Ten: A Slow Decent to Death.

On the eighth morning of their camping, not much had changed, Astarion was still keeping his distance from Citrine but every now and then she would catch him stealing a look, she prayed to any god that would listen that he would say something anything to her. He wasn't ever this quiet, this unattached even when angry he had something to say. Perhaps this was indifference and she did not know what could be worse, him hating her or her truly being nothing to him.

"Well, it is time we come to a decision, friends." Gale stoked the fire. "There is a warlock up in the Troll hills, very dangerous, very much so has an army of undead. But, he is rumored to be a necromancer and from the undead in those parts, I'd bet, if I were a betting man that, that fact is indeed true. He is a lich and I doubt there is more than he'd like to turn the heroes of Baldur Gate into part of his horde but perhaps if we had something he might like we could persuade him. So the choice is up to us, before or after the ring, or forget him entirely."

Shadowheart's eyes widened, "You're telling us this now?"

"Well, I hardly thought there was a more convenient time, we have to pass around his keep to get to Waterdeep anyways, and there hasn't been much talking. I'd vote after, in case of some event that he keeps us in a sunroom as prisoners we wouldn't want Astarion burning up."

"No, I imagine the thought wouldn't bring you joy, having me out of the way."

"Now, Astarion I do not want any malice between us, the hug was just that a hug and nothing more. You should know I was not impeding on your relationship."

"As if you could even come close, if I remember correctly which I do, she chose me."

"And you threw her over the coals over a hug, funny I'd of thought it would have been when she bed Haarlep. But, we each have our own boundaries, a hug is yours, and sleeping with a succubus would of been mine."

"First of all I was tricked, I thought a couple of slices from a dagger maybe a beating I did not think Haarlep was going to make me sleep with them to find what we needed for the hammer which by the way is the only reason any of us are still alive." Citrine's voice was filled with anger, that was a low blow for Gale. She still could feel Haarlep every time they used her form. It was something she would try to shake off though often could not, it would leave her shaken for minutes one time over an hour she was double over. The parasite might of been gone her body was still not only hers, Haarlep still enjoyed using her form a little too often. "But, I do agree after, I don't think we should be going out of our way to do anything that might throw us into the sun until after the ring."

"I'm so glad that now you're concerned with how I might burn up. As much as I do not want to agree with either of you about anything I'm no use to Karlach and Wyll if something like the changing of time can kill me. Shadowheart any input?"

"Oh, I have input but I do not think you will enjoy it Astarion."

"Shadowheart, I enjoy a good verbal beating every now and then, what is going on in that precious silver head of yours."

Shadowheart's gaze hardened. "You're being a giant asshole, you know as well as I do that absolutely nothing is going on with Citrine or Gale, you just rather walk away and hurt her before she could leave you. I thought you were a lot of things but the type of person to hurt someone because they may just get the right sense to leave you after you feed off her each night, leave her weakened for me to clean up your mess and does she even complain? No! Each night she waits for her 'love' to come and drain her. A hug, really? Over fucking Gale? This is an excuse to walk away before she can and the funny thing is she wouldn't of. She doesn't have the good sense to. I trusted you to protect the most precious person in my life and you're destroying her!" Shadowheart's words turned to screams.

"YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT I AM DESTROYING HER!" Astarion yelled out. "I WAS supposed to protect her and instead I am scarring her, leaving her with marks of my needs. I need blood to survive and she gets to carry around proof forever. She will be forever marked by the person who was supposed to protect her and instead, I am slowly killing her." Astarion shacked as he walked over to the canvas covering the wall. "And, I can't even leave. I'm stuck here to look at her. To see her, what if one day I take too much? You're right what if you're not there to heal her of the effects of my selfishness? I could live off of boar, hell I lived off of RATS for two centuries, but I keep taking. For what?"

Citrine tentatively got up, she walked to Astarion the pain in his reddened eyes. He was hurting and all she craved was to fix the hurt.

"Get away from me, do not come closer!" his voice was a growl.

"You said once that I wasn't allowed to make decisions for you, so why are you making them for me?" Citrine's voice was broken her, cheeks lined with tears.

"But, I am not. I do not want to be with you. I don't want to be anywhere near you. I do not want you. I am only still here because of Karlach and Wyll." His voice echoed in the cave. True or not true she could not decipher but they were the words leaving his mouth.

"Then you won't, I'll keep my distance. I'll stay away."

"He's only here for the ring, he'll leave as soon as we find it. Karlach and Wyll be damned." Shadowheart screeched.

"No, Shadowheart. Astarion is not a liar. He has every right to not want me. I saw things that were not there, I put too much meaning behind certain words." Citrine faced Shadowheart, eyes still flooded with tears. She moved her bedroll away from the fire, closer to where Scratch and Robin were. The two had stood angrily eying the vampire that dared yell at their friend. It wasn't until Citrine laid down pulling them both into her trembling body that they calmed.

Citrine did not dream during her meditation and when night came she was thankful for that. In three weeks' time they would be in Waterdeep, and Elminster would give the information hopefully that they needed. They would get the ring and then find someone to replace Karlach's heart. She and Wyll would be free of Avernus, and Astarion would be free of her. 600 years is a long time to live with a broken heart, and the temptation to give hers to Karlach did not fall lightly on her. Though she knew Karlach would never agree.