Oneshots! (Mostly Hermitcraft)

5k Special: Incorrect Quotes

Keralis: Shashwammy, are you getting used to stupidity again after your vacation?

Xisuma: ... kind of.

Xisuma: It's a slow and torturous process.

Xisuma: Like getting used to poison.

^-^

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian: *playing Heads Up*

Heads Up: Great White Shark

Grian: Fish with teeth!

Scar: *makes a shark fin with his hand and puts it on his head*

Grian: *makes chompy motions with both of his hands*

Scar: JAWS *sings Jaws theme*

Mumbo: ALLIGATOR

Mumbo: CROCODILE

^-^

Evil Xisuma: I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!!

Xisuma: Oh good. I thought that'd turn out to be cucumbers or something.

Xisuma: That'd be so embarrassing.

Xisuma: I mean, I know vegetables are scary and everything, but running away the second I see a cucumber? Downright humiliating.

Evil Xisuma: I take it back. You're my worst nightmare.

Xisuma: *whispering* Another one bites the dust.

^-^

Scar: Bippity boppity, your arm is now my property!

Doc: *incoherent stammering and cursing in German*

Doc: Where did you come from?!

^-^

PA: Would Impulse SV please come to the front desk?

The receptionist: *points at Pearl and Gem* These people were looking for you.

Gem: We got lost.

Impulse: I... I didn't even bring you with me.

^-^

Now, onto the author's note nobody wants to read! Yay!

First off:

What the heck. Where did y'all come from?? I honestly never expected this "little" side project I started back in January of 2022 to pop off this well. This is insane! Y'all are insane! I'm insane! (As my friend would jokingly remind me: sanity is a social construct we create to generate a sense of control in our lives.)

I can't believe I've written over 40 oneshots in these past 2.5 years, with some of them being relatively long (oops?). I'm so happy people seem to be enjoying what I write. It's a real treat to see how many people vote and comment.

Second:

I'm speechless. No. Don't ask for a speech. You're not getting one.

Third:

Yes, I have those Star Wars x Hermitcraft headcanons typed up and ready for you gremlins. Enjoy.

Xisuma is a sarcastic Jedi Master.

MUM-80 is a protocol droid (C-3PO lol).

GR1-4N is an astromech droid (R2-D2 lol).

Etho and False have an astromech named T4X-E5. They both fly X-Wings.

Impulse is an impulsive X-Wing pilot.

Gem is a princess who can shoot the eye of a wombat from 30 meters away.

Doc is a bounty hunter turned Rebel.

Zedaph is a Sith Lord and a good mop (according to Xisuma).

Tango is the one dude who gets a lightsaber and immediately points it at his face.

Cub is the exasperated Rebel leader.

Scar is a retired Y-Wing pilot who takes his cat everywhere.

Ren and Doc consistently smuggle goods to the Rebels, including 12-year-olds Impulse and Tango (6 years ago) when they pester Ren into taking them off Tatooine.

xB is an X-Wing pilot who can be found taped to the ceiling every once in a while.

Iskall fixes droids, especially Mumbo when Grian drags him into chaos.

Bdubs is a Y-Wing pilot who's always muted because of how much he screams.

Beef is a Y-Wing pilot and tapes xB to the ceiling.

Keralis gives all the pilots oranges before they go into battle.

Pearl is an X-Wing pilot who's always "upside-down" (but there's no gravity in space, so who knows).

CL-30 (Cleo) is a reformed stormtrooper and Y-Wing pilot who threatens to break people's legs if they blow up.

Jevin is a Y-Wing pilot who gets on Cleo's nerves a LOT.

Joe writes epic ballads for the highly probable chance that they all die.

Stress runs the medical center and bakes cookies.

Wels is a Mandalorian with a bounty on Hels (an Imperial officer).

Hypno helps Beef tape xB to the ceiling and helps Stress bake cookies.

TFC helps xB get down from the ceiling after a solid 10 minutes of cackling.

Do with this information what you will (and please tag me; I'd love to see/read).

Ciao for now! Make sure you say 'hi' in the comments!
Jade