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38!. well be alright (sad)

Ok tw - depression, suicide, dying, and more (also fine line from harry is one of my favorite songs right now bit it makes me cry and someone ask me to make a sad one like this and I was listening to this song and it make me think of this song) (don't read if you handed these types of stories)

I was at the sturniolo tirplets house reading the comments on their YouTube channel on their new video that I was in and most of them were rude

"Hey you ok you look sad" Matt asked giving me a small smile "Yeah im fine" I smile even if I was sad

It wasn't just YouTube that made me feel like this it's all the people I meet and they say I'm not good enough and I hate it I sometimes think what would happened if I die would they miss me probably not.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Chris yelled then laugh like a idiot right after "what the fuck chris" Matt asked I smiled "Y/n!!! You're still here" Chris said all happy "Yeah I am" I giggled these boys are the only ones that make me happy but maybe their happiness isn't Enough to keep me alive.

"Hey y/n you gonna sleep over again?" Nick asked "uh no sorry I think I'll go home" I said "awe but what happened to you're gonna flim a car video with us" said "Sure I will but Matt can you bring me home right after" I asked "Sure I don't mind" Matt smiled

We all got into the car and they drove to McDonald's "hey y/n you want anything to eat?" Nick asked " I don't have my money" I said "I'll pay for you" Chris smile "thanks uh I'll take French fries and a ice-cream" I smiled they order and then Matt drove to a parking spot

"Hey guys we got a special guest" nick said "meeeee" I giggled "ok what are you talking about today" Matt asked "how much money" nick answered "how much money to kiss y/n" Matt asked "that's crazy" nick said "0 dollars" Chris said that make me smile "me too" nick said "uh 5 dollars" Matt said "nahh" Chris said "pftt what was that nahh" I laughed "how much money to drink pool water" I asked "um $400 dollars for sure" nick said "no I'm in the thousands like maybe $2k" Chris said "no Chris lower that like maybe $50" Matt said "don't tell me to lower it" Chris yelled "I'll say $20" I said "ewwww no pool! Water you know how many people swim" Chris complained "you know how many Chemicals are in a pool it's clean" I Argued "that's even worse you wanna drink chemicals!" Chris started arguing "no but I wouldn't make some pay me 2k to drink pool water I would just take 20!" I defended myself "ok ok we are not gonna have a 3 hour fight about how much many would you take to drink pool water" Matt stopped the argument "that's crazy" nick said me and Chris started to laugh

Nick gave me this look asking me if I was OK I wasn't but I nodded and Continue to laugh with them for about 40 minutes till they called it a day "ok ill bring you home now" matt said "the wheels on my bus goes round and round" i sang "what the fuck" nick asked "like that was crazy" matt laugh "its a good song" i lauged "its for bAbY's" chris said saying baby in a baby voice "what the fuck chris" nick said in disbelieve that Chris made a baby voice "that was crazy" matt complained "im sowey" chris apologize in a baby voice "no chris" giggled "youre home" matt said "oh ok bye guys" i gave them big hugs and left "ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW" Chris yelled as they drove away

I went in my house and went in my room and wanted to cry I had this crazy idea to k¡ll myself but how would people feel "fuck" I cried in a corner I got up and got paper and a pen

(*good bye letters*)

Dear Chris
I'm sorry please don't be sad I been thinking about doing this for a while and I didn't because of you and you're brother and my mom but mostly you guys you guys made me feel like I was happy I'm sorry if you find me like this but just know I'll good to a safe place Chris I love you more then anything, everything and everyone but I was too scard to tell you that and this isn't youre fault because i never told you about how i was feeling. goodbye Chris love y/n l/n :)

Dear nick hey thank you for everything you have ever done for me I'm sorry if I caused you pain I never meant to I saw needed to get rid of my pain and I didn't want to bug you guys with my pain nick you helped a lot if it wasn't for you guys I would be gone way long ago see you in the after life goodbye love y/n l/n :3

Dear Matt thank you for always making sure I was ok most of time I wasn't but you asking made me feel like you did so thank you. Matt please don't cry I hate seeing you cry more then anything I'm really sorry so the pain I'm causing all of you. Love you Matt goodbye love y/n l/n <3

(*end of letters*)

I finished every letter to all my family and I left them on my desk I grabbed a bottle of pills and took them all I laying on my bed still holding the bottle when I felt my eyes getting Heavy "Goodbye world" and with that every went black

(*Chris pov*)

I was getting ready to pick y/n up "Matt drop me off and you go get food" I said "what?" Matt asked "she's probably hungry please matt" I asked "fine" Matt said dropping me and nick off

I walked to her front door seeing that it wasn't locked that was weird i got worried walked in and called her name and ran to her room when I got no answer

"Y/N!" I yelled walking in almost puking when I saw her pale body laying there "no no no no" I ran in and hugged her "wake up wake up wake up" I shook her "NOooOOOOoooo" I cried "NICK!" I yelled
"Chris is everyth-" nick walked in "No!" Nick got now the floor with me "CALL MATT NOW!" I yelled Nick did
"We'll be alright" i said rocking back and forth "why did you do it sometimes i hate the decisions you made" i cried, nick walked in with tears "matts here" he whispered

I pick her and brought her to the car "what the fuck happened" he asked "she killed herself" nick said "no she's alive DRIVE!" I yelled she had be I never even got to tell her I loved her. I ran out of the car with her in my arms when I saw we where at the hospital

"Help!" I cried the doctors took her out of my arms Matt did the talking as I just sat there numb knowing that I'll never see her again "chris" nick said but I couldn't talk I couldn't move she died she's gone "hey guys I'm sorry to say but she's gone" the doctor said thats when I let go I sobed as my Brothers sobed with me in a hug.

I couldn't believe she was gone I felt like this was my fault it had to be I should've noticed but i didn't

THE END....