Immortals | ✓

13 | aethera

━━ αθάνατοι ━━

I pray to her, even though I have never had faith before, 

I plead with her to help me know what is lost in time.

I pray to her, on a scorching day, 

It is then, that I ask her to wrap me in her dark embrace.

━━ αθάνατοι ━━

YOU spend your entire life, with the understanding that despite everything that happens, every chaos that unfurls in the world around you, when you are alone, in your little space, you always have you. And sometimes knowing that, is enough. Every moment of your life could be another unfamiliar journey but despite the uncertainty of it all, you knew yourself and you held yourself and for me, that was the greatest achievement of it all. In the most hackneyed manner, it was the realization that even if I had no one, at least I had me.

And for the longest time, that was alright for me.

Until the Academy happened.

After spending almost eighteen years in an orphan home, my understanding was that while I knew nothing of my future, I knew I was all right figuring it out alone. Loneliness did not scare me for all the eighteen years that I lived amongst unknown people who seemed to be on an entirely different trip than me. But then I walked into the Academy and realized how differently I had been raised. When I sat alone in a corner, with nothing but a book in my hand, while everyone talked to each other, laughed, and found age-old connections, I thought for the first time that maybe I was alone, not in an empowering independent manner but in a sad, pathetic way. When I thought of it that way, I was scared of it all.

My idea of self-assurance changed. And so did my perception of myself. I went from not wanting to know anything about my past, to having an unsettling craving to find something, anything about it. But obviously, I found nothing. Someone had left me in a quaint little town, with no records and no clues. So, I gave up. And then I continued to feel this newfound emotion.

Until Art held my hand and drove me out of that place. The cycle that began after that simple action of his drove that feeling away in minutes. I haven't turned back and thought about it and I find myself forgetting about that life daily. What I felt then, is a distant memory, not a burning scar. Even though it has been just a week. But this week has been more chaotic than my entire life combined.

Every day is bouts of new knowledge and just when I think I cannot keep up, I am thrown into another path, another newfound ability that I couldn't even dream of. And now, I know. After waves of desperation, the truth stands right in front of me, but I am turning away from it. They say it will take some time for me to understand, but I need much more than mere days. And days is not something we have.

"You need to eat," Art's voice brings me back. A day has passed since I have seen Rubyn and the others. It seems like the entire house is empty except for the humans and Art and I. "Stop experimenting with your appetite, Aethera. You cannot train this way."

"You know I can," I mutter. That was the truth. I could do it all and not eat a single thing. That is my new reality so why should I act as if it isn't real? I have to learn to accept it, right?

"You don't have to," Art replied, sitting in front of me. "Look at me," he said, his fingers brushing against my chin as he turned me to face him. "I get it, okay? I get it more than anyone here. But I also know you, even if it's a small part of you. Just because your blood is different now, doesn't mean you're completely disassociated from who you were a week ago. You're still Aethera."