WHAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK WASN'T MY FAULT ~angst~

THAN AM I NOT YOUR MOTHER?

LOKI'S PRONOUNCE IN THIS CHAPTER:
He/Him

LOKI'S POV:

It's been days since Odin sent me to this cell.
My mother has been here to see me every day,
but I try to ignore her and not talk to her.
I don't even know why I'm doing this.
It's not her fault,
but I just can't help blaming everyone for what happened to me.
I've actually started reading some of these books, but most of the time I'm lying in my bed, still exhausted from everything that happened.

Today I woke up feeling a bit better.
I looked around my cell.
There were new books lying on the table.
My mother really doesn't want me to get bored.
I look in the mirror I made with my powers.
I don't like the way I look today.

Sometimes I don't change my gender for a long time, but now that I'm alone in this cell, I'm constantly questioning myself.
I took another look in the mirror and transformed back to my male version.
I changed my clothes,
and my hair is back to the length I had before.
I actually like my normal long hair a lot.

I hear my mom coming.
She enters my cell and says in a soft voice,
"Good morning, my dear.
Are you feeling okay? Is there something I can do for you?"
In this moment, guards enter the dungeons too; they're bringing new creatures to lock them up in the free cell next to me.

"Odin continues to bring me new friends.
How thoughtful," I say out of the blue.
"The books I sent, do they not interest you?"
Asks my mother, totally ignoring what I just said.
For the first time since I'm locked up in this cell,
I answer one of her questions,
"Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?"
"I've done everything in my power to make you comfortable, Loki,"
She explained.
"Have you?"
I say, getting angry.
Why is she the only one caring about me?
I knew Odin wouldn't visit me, but I thought my brother would.
I really miss him.
And I just want Frigga to be my mother again.
I really need her to hug me right now.

"Does Odin share your concern?"
I make a pause, not expecting an answer.
"Does Thor?
It must be so inconvenient, them asking after me day and night,"
I say sarcastically.
"You know full well it was your actions that brought you here," my mother says, a bit disappointed.
"My actions?" Now I'm really angry.
"It wasn't me. I was controlled. I never wanted to do this," I say, looking her dead in the eyes.
I hope she believes me.
"Loki, I know that the pain and anger you feel for your father 'controlled' you to do this, but -"
I cut her off, screaming,
"He is not my father."
Suddenly, my mother looks sad and disappointed. I've never seen her like this.
"Then am I not your mother?"
I take a deep breath.
I am starting to panic.
She is my mother; I love her more than anyone,
but if she doesn't believe me, no one will.
That means I'm going to stay in here for the rest of my life.
It doesn't matter if she keeps visiting me, thinking I'm the villain of this story,
so I say, nearly in tears,
"You're not."
She chuckles in pain.
Her eyes are filled with tears.
It hurts me so much to see her like this.
I tried to grab her hand.
I really wanted to take back what I just said,
but her illusion disappeared.

She couldn't even come here in person.
Is she scared of me?

She will never forgive me, never.
No one is going to forgive me.
I'm going to die in here alone.

THOR'S POV:

My mother and I were eating breakfast when I noticed that she looks a bit sad.
She didn't really talk to me, but I knew that it has something to do with Loki.
She visits him every day, but something happened Today,
and I need to find out what.
But I am not ready to see my brother yet.
I really wanted to, but I'm still angry at him.
I would do anything to get my old brother back.

LOKI'S POV:

I don't know how much time has passed since
I screamed at my mother,
But it feels like days.

Suddenly, I hear loud noises from the cell next to me.
One of the creatures in there managed to escape.
I'm really glad that something is finally happening here.
He fights off the guards who were trying to get him back in the cell.
He destroyed the other cells around me so everyone could escape.

Then he stood directly before my cell.
I smiled at him,
But he just turns around.
I think they don't really see me as one of them since I'm still a part of the royal family.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left," I say, probably sending him in Thor's direction,
since our bedrooms and the main dining room is in this zone.
I don't want him to get hurt,
but I am so bored and something is finally happening here.
If he escapes, I would be bored again
If they already see me as a villain
I could start acting like one.
It's not like anyone cares.
And I'm the god of mischief people expect nothing less from me.
If this creature tries to escape again
he will maybe let me out the next time,
Or I could use the distraction to get out on my own.

Little did I know that my mother
was with Thor in the dining room.