Blindspot

Chapter 21

This time it was Rebecca who didn't know what to say other than 'oh'.

"P'Freen...I was tired that night and ..."

"Nam explained it to me." Freen interrupted and turned to face Rebecca, "I understand.

I am not mad at you, only Nam explained to me that I shouldn't message you good morning or good night unless I have made up my mind."

"Sorry, I'm confused. Made up your mind on what? What did P'Nam say?"

"I had been thinking over and over again whether I am strong enough for you. Good enough for you, and the answer I keep coming back to is no. I have nothing to offer you. Money? Power? Social Status? Or even a good family background. I can't give you any of those. I can only offer myself.

Ever since you came into my life, you've opened up my world and changed my entire outlook on life. For the first time in my life, I want to throw caution to the wind. I want to risk something knowing that I might really get hurt. I want to be selfish and be attached. If I were to leave this world, I want someone to remember me and to miss me.

I am slow when it comes to feelings and understanding love but once I've experienced it, I won't run away from it. I am direct and blunt. I don't know how to flirt and say sweet words and I don't know what the future may hold but I promise that I will always fight for you and fight for us.

I know that there is a huge disparity between us in terms of money and fame, and I can't give you anything other than my word, but you can trust me when I say that I don't care one whit about the number of fans you have, how wealthy you are, how much box office sales you generated, or rumors of your past relationships. I want nothing but success and happiness for you. I don't know how to describe exactly what you mean to me or label what our relationship is, but I can tell you that I have never felt this way in my entire life and I don't think I will ever have another opportunity to experience this with anyone other than you.

Lastly, I want you to know that I have thought it through and through. This is not me being impulsive. Once I've made a decision, I will follow through with it and will do my best so that I won't leave any regrets behind."

"What are you saying? P'Freen."

"I guess...I guess what I am trying to say is that... What I'm asking is...stay with me. Be with me. I can be whatever you want me to be."

"No."

"No?"

"No, you've gotten it backwards, you have more than enough to offer. Nobody has given me so much like you have. In fact it is me. I feel like I have nothing to offer to you and all I have done is take and take from you. I owe you my life when you saved me, I owe you all that I currently have, for igniting the fire in me to restart my career, I owe you all that I will have because you sacrificed your career to help me with my dream.

You gave me back my belief that there is good in people with simple kindness. You don't need to speak in flowery words and empty flattery because your actions speak louder than words. I don't care about money, I don't care about social status. I don't care about family background. All I care about is you and how you see me. I worry that all you are seeing is Rebecca Patricia Armstrong and not simply me...Becky. You have placed me on such a high pedestal that I am afraid one day you will see my flaws, and you will turn your back on me when I will fall so hard from your grace.I am scared that you will take away all your warmth and I am left standing in the cold.

All I want is to stand beside you and experience life together. I want to be there to see you smile, see you cry, see your eyes sparkle for every success that comes your way. I want you to see how valuable you are, because in my eyes you are. I want us to be equals. I have never felt this way before with any woman. I thought I was straight, and I also want you to know that this isn't a fling or a rebound from Nop.