"It's obviously wrong!"
"Felix, I know you took organic chemistry the year before but trust me, I am sure about the answer. "
"Hyunjin, don't try too much, he and organic chemistry are from two parallel universes, he is never going to get it."
"Shut up Changbin, you are not even a chemistry major-"
"I am a medic-"
"Exactly!"
"Stop arguing! You are either going to be eating each other’s faces or argue. Just- break up already."
"Is this what you told to our parents?"
"Tch! Our parents are not divorced you idiot! Father just went to buy milk."
"Yeah, yeah. Maybe the cow died that's why-"
"Can you stop it?"
"Kay..."
"Hey Changbin, did he eat anything?"
"Oh Hyun, you know how Felix is. He isn't going to eat till he is on the verge of passing out or till I try to shove food into his mouth. "
"Shut it."
Maybe this was the only thing Hyunjin was jealous of his brother, his body and his will to be thin that he sacrificed his needs just for his bones to show off even while wearing double and triple layers of clothes.
Hyunjin had never achieved this. He would though, someday soon, he would be like his brother if not better.
"Hey! You spaced out!
"Oh, sorry. I was thinking about... umm- Saytzeff and his laws!"
"Yeah? How is he? Are you kidding me, Hyunjin?"
"Um no! I just remembered, I have to go to the library- I'll see you back home."
"Wait- Do you want me to drive you?"
"No! No, it's okay, I- bye."
"This kid... I swear."
...
Maybe Changbin driving him would have been better from being drenched to the bone from the heavy rain but then again, Hyunjin loved walking in the rain, he always felt as if the cold water drops pirced through his skin and reached his heated soul, slowly but surely settling a peaceful feeling on the pit of his stomach.
Arriving home was something he dreaded. He would rather to be sent into a hole full of hungry lions.
He knew, Felix would most likely be gone with his friends and boyfriend.
His mother had moved out months ago with a boyfriend of hers and literally abandoned her sons. His father was out for milk for a couple of years now. And so, Hyunjin always found himself withering away in the full of silence house of his.
Sometimes, the silence was so loud that even the music that played in full voice from his headphones couldn't fill it up. Sometimes, the noise in his head was so loud, created by his thoughts that the deadly silence of his house wasn't enough to silence the mess in his head too.
Sometimes, his fight to become a skeleton seemed useless and never-ending.
Sometimes, death seemed comforting and suicide as the only solution.
"Hyun?"
"Lix? Why- why are you home so early?"
"Bin was needed back at the hospital"
"Oh..."
"Yes. How are you we haven't talked in a whi- why are you dripping water, did you walk in the rain?"
"Ah, that. Yes, it's not a big deal. I am just going to get changed."
"Okay. Bye... come down for dinner later."
"Sure."
And Hyunjin really did hate that.
These meaningless and incredibly awkward conditions. Sure, there were specific moments where he felt really close with Felix,.just like that morning but most.of.the time this wasn't the case.
No one was to be blamed really. They were both at fault in a way or another.
Their bond was destroyed by a series of events that no one could really control.
First, their father abandoned them at the sweet age of fifteen. The weight of that departure was forced upon Hyunjin's shoulder to this day, as by their mother he was always the flaw of this family and father happened to not bare it.
As per flaw their mother, who was actually a psychiatrist herself, meant Hyunjin's depressive nature and the harassing issues he was facing at school.
From that day and on his mother would treasure Felix, supporting him, caring for him, adoring him and giving him all of the love he wished to receive.
This made Hyunjin understandably envious of his own brother and that started the fight for perfection between the two brothers.
If Felix was called too skinny, Hyunjin would fight to become skinnier and vice versa.
It must have been at eighteen when Felix met Hyunjin's best friend Changbin and since then he seemed to have stolen him from Hyunjin too.
Don't blame him he is happy for them, he would have been happier however if he was able to spend time with them separately, he didn't need them as a couple but as a brother and a best friend separately, something no one seemed to get.
Another thing that changed completely due to their relationship was Felix's behavior.
He stopped competing with his brother and instead focused on his own healing journey even if it was rocky.
And Hyunjin was on one hand grateful but on the other bitter as he was left alone to compete with his own brain.
