Wandered and Wandering

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Do people actually move on?
Or do they just continue to move forward?

Do people really learn and forget about their feelings?
Or do they just happen to find acceptance?

When i was younger, i started off by thinking that love is the easiest thing we could give and receive. But as I grow, I've learned that love is not just all that. In fact, it's the one that keeps things complicated. Caring is different than loving—I wished I've known about this a little earlier.

How will you know if it is love? Is it through rainbows and butterflies we feel in our tummies, the thoughts we have right before we sleep, the eye contacts along the corridors, or maybe those small touches with that person? To be honest, I do not know which is more difficult—to be hopeless romantic or aromantic. Because when things get hard, it is hard to find both optimism and love in the things around us. At the same time, I still get to find myself seeking for affection and romanticizing every little thing that is part of my every day.

Life, for me, looks dull and gray. But when there is love, there are colors in it. Love is not just about having relationships or anything romantic. It is also about getting thrilled by just simply thinking about one's existence, seeing random strangers smile at me, and the kindness people give towards each other.

Time—one thing that moves so fast. The people around me change as much as how I am not the same person as I was before.

Yesterday, I was just 13. Suddenly, I am 20.

Long ago, I used to tell myself how things will all get paid off someday. I was just one of the many people who believes that it is okay to take things slow and that we do not need to look for love at an early stage—that I can wait til' I turn eighteen. But then, time passed by and I started becoming 18, 19, and now...20. Was I too late? Did I just simply waste every moment that I've let all opportunities slip away? Between those ages, did the love I was looking for come? If not, when will it come? Or.... will it still come?

If love is really for everyone... why is it that the people around me are now dancing under the moonlight with their lovers while I'm still in a coffee shop, writing this, and hoping to find her own daylight?

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