Carbon: Devil's Rose #8

Chapter 19: Gabriella Jordan

Somehow I slept the rest of the day and only woke up to complain about my headache and pee, according to Roman. That's honestly surprising for me, but I got to lay in bed all Saturday, so I'm not going to be mad about that. 

I typically have to work Saturday mornings, so I don't get to sleep in that many days of the week, so getting the chance to do that and be in the presence of Roman even if I wasn't conscious the whole time, I'm grateful that I got to rest. I definitely should take care of myself more. 

I think part of the reason I don't is because my apartment can be uncomfortable. I don't feel safe enough there to sleep in all day and spend my time in my apartment because someone could try to hurt me while I'm there. 

I would rather be outside and away from that space in case someone were to break in. They can steal whatever they want, I have nothing super valuable in there, so I'm safer not there.

I've tried to make the space a secure and cozy place to live but the more time I spend there, especially after spending two nights in a row at Roman's house, it feels different thinking that I have to go back there. It gets less and less comfortable the more I reflect on my living situation. 

I'm grateful that I have a home, and I also understand that it's not the landlord's fault or anything. The area that the apartment building is in has just changed over time. As more people bridge the gap between the city of Foxburg and the small town of Westmoor, the rougher the area that I'm living in now gets before it becomes more developed. 

I get that gentrification and modernization can be bad for a community, there isn't much of a community here to destroy. That's just my perspective on it though. I know other people feel differently than me.

However, other people's perspectives, and even mine, don't make me feel any safer. Where I feel safe is close to Roman. That's where I want to be. If I were to tell him that, I would probably be moving into his condo right now. He would instantly want me to come live with him, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. 

I said that I wanted to go with the flow with this relationship, and I didn't want to feel like I have to rush through the steps, and moving in would certainly be rushing. But then I also think about the other factors that make me want to move in with him.

It isn't only about me feeling that I care for him and could see my life with him, it's because I'm nervous about being in my apartment alone. I'm not sure what I want to do, but I'm not going to tell him about my worries, that's for sure. 

He's going to want to do something about it, and I'm not ready for that. That's the thing I know for certain.

"Are you hungry yet, little dove?"

Him just saying little dove reminds me of the tattoo that he got this morning. I mean, what the actual hell? I don't mind it, but it's going to take some getting used to. He has no idea where this relationship is going, and he already has a tattoo of me on his body. 

Is that a red flag? Or is it just Roman being Roman? And why do I feel so incredibly attracted to it? I probably shouldn't feel this way about the tattoo because a sane person most likely wouldn't do what he did, but there's just something about the way it makes me feel. 

I honestly can't say what it is besides horny. Thinking about it and seeing it makes me incredibly horny.

"Gabriella?"

"Oh, sorry, I could eat. I could always eat."

"You aren't feeling too nauseous anymore?"

He's such a sweetheart. I just want to spend every second with him.