Heated Rivalries | Warrior Nun

Injuries and Maths

Lilith was hurt, She had made a mistake and was cornered three against one. She has survived but she had taken a few blows which would take some time to heal. The mother Superion had ordered her to abandon her training for a month until her wounds healed. She started to lose her mind within days. She had always kept her mind occupied. She had never been allowed rest. She simply didn't know what to do with her free time. She felt worthless, She felt like a burden to the other nuns. She couldn't live like this.

Lilith decided to learn maths. She had been terrible at it and her mother had used it to belittle her. She wanted to prove her wrong. Lilith rarely left her room, She immersed herself in prayers and mathematics. She had started to feel better about herself. She was struggling with calculus but enjoyed it when her mother was hovering over her. It did bring some awful memories up but she was able to manage and not let them ruin maths for her.

Ava started to visit her a week into forced rest. She didn't like it but she knew she couldn't reject her offer of companionship without upsetting her. Upsetting Ava would ruin her day and it was much easier to just let Ava have her way. Ava's company was not as grating as she expected it to be. Ava mostly talked about training, Spent a lot of time talking about the weather and any random thing that caught her fancy. Ava was a pleasant distraction from the dark places her mind went to usually.

Ava also started bringing her breakfast after she noticed she was in a lot of pain early in the morning. She actually started to look forward to waking up just to let Ava in, The woman could never stop smiling. How could anyone have such a radiant smile? It was unfair to the rest of the nuns. It took Ava a few days to understand she was learning maths. She did make fun of her for being a 'closeted nerd' before suggesting sister Beatrice would make a great tutor. She had called her 'Bea'. It made her jealous, even after all their bonding she still called her sister Lilith, no fancy nickname for her.

Her first two tutoring sessions with Beatrice were horrible. The level of maths that Beatrice thought appropriate and her natural ease with numbers made her feel stupid. She couldn't keep up with her and it rankled her. She lied to Beatrice that was able to keep up and that she had maintained a facade of intelligence until their next 'class' where Beatrice had given her a set of problems to solve. She couldn't do it, She didn't even understand half the questions, and the questions she did understand, she was not able to complete. She kept on making stupid mistakes, Every mistake making her lose her composure and making her feel even stupider.

"I can't do this." She finally confessed to Beatrice.
"It is okay," Beatrice whispered before gently grasping the paper and reading the answers.
"I lied about understanding it." She whispered. She had started to tear up. Maybe her mother had been right about her after all.
Beatrice wiped the tears from her face. " Listen, Lilith, This is my fault, I shouldn't have thrown you off the deep end like that. I am sorry. Don't cry, We will learn from the beginning. This is my fault and I don't want you to cry about it." She whispered.

Beatrice had been able to calm her down. She was mostly embarrassed now. She had lost her composure over some silly little maths problem like a child. Some part of her wanted to forget about this. Beatrice spent half an hour consoling her and talking to her and pointing out the numerous way how she had excelled. She had given her objectivity, unquestionable proof that she was valuable to the nuns. Beatrice kissed her goodbye on the cheek. It made her blush a deep red which she was sure Beatrice noticed.

She tried to sleep but the room still smelled of Beatrice and it kept her awake. How lucky was Ava? She had won the affection of this incredible woman. Some part of her felt incredibly jealous but the other felt happy. Ava and Bea made sense. They were happy together, They worked well together. They were both such great people. It made her happy they were together. Lilith found her crying for the second time in the day. This time out of a mixture of joy tinged with sadness.

Ava and Bea loved each other, She just wished they loved her too. She didn't deserve their love but she still selfishly wanted it.