I Wear Boys Underwear

Chapter Four: Thanks for Nothing, Kiss My... Butt

Chapter Four:

Thanks for Nothing, Kiss My… Butt

“I know the sun still shines when you're not around
I'm taking it easy in the worst part of town
And now I find that it wasn't meant to last
I got one thing to say and that's
Thanks for nothing kiss my ass.”

-Thanks for Nothing, The Downtown Fiction

 

 

 I lay in my bed, dazed, as my alarm blared and flashed for me to wake up to a new day.  But there was no need for it because I was already awake. I had been awake for the past 2 hours actually.

As the alarm continued to signal me to get my ass up and ready for my last day of school I continued to lay under my comforter, motionless. Getting out of my warm and comforting bed was just not something I wanted to do right now especially when I am trying to avoid a certain someone who shall not be named. No, not Voldemort you crazy Harry Potter fans, I was talking about Spencer. Although at the moment I would rather face that ugly feminine snake man instead of my ex.

Finally having enough of the annoying beeping I got out of my warm and inviting bed begrudgingly, slamming the off button on my alarm, to get ready for the day. I stretched; satisfied at the popping sounds my joints made (years of sports will do that to you unfortunately) and rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I dragged my feet to the restroom down the hallway.

While I was washing my hair in the shower everything from last night finally began to set in. I was going to be a dude. Not a girl acting like a guy, still looking like a girl- story of my life. No, a girl disguised as a guy. If that made any sense, which I am sure it probably didn’t since it is coming from the inner workings of my jumbled and weird mind in the early morning. I was like a walking zombie when I first woke up so that could explain the confusion in my head at the prospects of my new mission. Man my life is just so messed up at the moment, isn’t it? I mean I am desperate enough to sneak into a football camp, dressed as a dude; what the Helsinki is the matter with me?

 After a nice long shower I towel dried my hair not bothering to put a comb or any products through it and let it fall naturally past my ears about an inch or so from my shoulders; the fringe lightly grazing the top of my eyebrows. I pulled my favorite black Ramones t-shirt over my head and a pair of loose fitting, light wash, jeans from Hollister over my legs. I slipped on my classic black Converse and headed downstairs to see my mom cooking chocolate chip pancakes in our medium sized kitchen.

 “So what’s the occasion?” I asked suspiciously with my eyebrow raised. My mom never really made pancakes or breakfast of any variety unless we were celebrating something special like birthdays or the first day of school.

 “Well I don’t know what you are celebrating, but I am celebrating the fact that my daughter is amazing and that I am proud of her,” She said while handing me a big plate of pancakes. I greedily took them from her and drenched them in yummy maple syrup and butter. If Drew saw me now she would probably rip my head in two for downing so much sugar in such a small amount of time. She was definitely the health nut out of the three of us. She didn’t do anything extreme like throw up after meals or starve herself, but she was into eating vegetables and fruit 24/7. I am pretty sure she hasn’t had anything sweet or sugary or fatty for the past five years now.