Freakshow

Chapter Thirty Six

Four beats and Cairo was struck in the heart by both knives, I heard the almost silent hiss as they entered his flesh. I screamed, a seemingly endless cry of rage and hurt, as his body fell to the ground. His body twisted and he reached his human form as he rolled into his back.

I dropped to his side, shrieking and raging against the events that had led up to this. I cursed Brigid, I cursed Orion, I cursed everyone who had ever even looked at the two of us.

The knives were sticking up from his chest, how they'd managed to hit their mark while he was moving so fast was beyond me, but they had. Orion's aim had been true.

"Don't leave me," I whispered, leaning over him, my tears spilling on his chest. "Don't leave me like this."

Cairo's eyes were wide open, his face a frozen grimace of surprised pain. I thought about taking the knives out but knew that could cause more damage than help, so I left them.

I closed my eyes, hating to lose sight of him for even a moment, and curled my toes in the earth. I reached down, sensing the power of the earth just below me, and tried to draw it up into my body.

I would heal him, I could fix this and all would be fine. We could live our lives together.

It wouldn't connect though, it was like trying to start a car with a low battery, I couldn't bring the power into my body.

I opened my eyes and he was bleeding out, his life force sliding over his muscled body into the dirt below him.

I tried again, keeping my eyes open and focusing on Cairo's face as I demanded power from the earth.

I held my hands out over his body, my arms began to glow with the familiar blue haze, but this time it was definitely weakened.

I felt movement beside me and Orion fell to the earth next to me, he began to weep and claw at his own face. "I killed him, my own son. God, please forgive me, what have I done?"

I had to ignore his grief and began to channel the light towards Cai, feeling my own body wilting as I gave him everything I had.

Orion noticed the light and turned to me. I squeezed my eyes shut to block him out, but his voice was right in my ear. "What are you doing? You're hurting him."

"She's trying to help him!" Milan screamed at him behind me.

"She's hurting him!" Orion raged at my side.

His hand gripped my arm and my eyes snapped open to see the blue light spark and almost catch fire at his touch. He bellowed, his grief giving way to pain as he pulled his hand away.

Blue flames clung to his skin and he fell back, writhing on the ground next to me, screaming in pain.

It was then that I understood the benefit of my condition, I'd never felt the damage the blue fire could do and by the sounds of Orion's screams, I never wanted to.

I enjoyed the fact that it hurt him though, he'd effectively destroyed my life in one short impulsive moment of revenge. I wanted him to hurt, I wanted him to burn.

Orion scrambled back, leaving me alone with Cairo once more. My failing attempts to heal the shredded heart tissue threatening to wash me under a tide of sorrow. I tried, god, goddess, I fucking tried, but nothing helped. Every time I knit his muscle together, a new leak sprung and the blood kept pumping out. Each beat took him closer to the other side, and there was nothing I could do.

I finally had to stop trying, I had nothing left. I had drained myself in my attempts to revive him, and I was on the verge of collapse myself.

Milan and Paris appeared on either side of me, flanking me, begging me to do something.

"I can't," I said, my voice no more than a hoarse whisper. "I don't have anything left to use."

"It's my fault, I took all your powers," Paris cried and begged Cairo to come back.

I didn't have the energy to reassure her, to offer her comfort. I had nothing.

I was silent as I lay on the ground next to him, my face close to his. I drew as much power from the earth as I could at that point, just to keep him with me even a few moments longer. Even half a second was an eternity for me, half a second more with the only man I'd ever love.

His mouth tried to move, but he was too far gone at that point to talk. His eyes found mine and I knew then that he was lost to me, and I felt my heart slowly disintegrating.

It didn't shatter as I'd expected it to, but it felt like a slow flaying, somebody stripping it apart piece by piece until there was nothing left but stone.

I talked him to his death, told him the things I would tell our son about his father, how I would honour his memory and live my life thinking of him...and how Brigid had promised I would find him again.

And I knew I would. I told him we would be together, and for him to wait for me on the other side. Keep watch for me, and I would come to him the first moment I could.

We would always be together.

I wasn't even aware of the exact moment of his death, I didn't mark his last breath, I kept talking until I had nothing left to say. I silently watched people go by as if in another dimension. I held his body as it cooled and the police tied off the crime scene. I couldn't lift myself off the earth, the grief in my brittle heart weighed me down and threatened to suffocate me.

I was uncomprehending as Detective Smythe tried to introduce himself, to tell us that they had suspected Carl and Alexi previously, they didn't know why or how, but the two of them were running illegal shows that ended in a girl being torn apart. Orion wasn't directly involved, but he benefited financially, so he would be arrested on sight.

I said nothing, Milan was too stunned to tell him much. We both knew how they had done it, and would only know which shifters were involved by the people who disappeared from the show tomorrow. They knew I could compel them to confess, and I didn't know what punishment was traditional, but I was ready to kill for what they'd done.

Still, I lay there. I wouldn't let them take Cairo away when the paramedics first arrived. They'd finished patching up Paris and came to us. They saw his body and knew it was too late, but they worked on him anyways. After failing that, they exchanged knowing glances, but they left me to mourn for a short time.

I closed my eyes finally, letting his memory wash over me, inhaling his scent for the last time. The tears came freely, weakly sliding down my cheeks, but my sobs were contained by my exhaustion.

I knew they'd come, I knew my body would be wracked with agony as his death hit me. When I was in private, when I woke up at night and reached for him, when I called his name in my dreams and found nothing but a white plain, empty of him, as empty as my heart.

At last Milan approached me and whispered that it was time. She helped me to my feet and I had no fight left, I couldn't protest. I was stiff as I walked to the corner of the stage and watched them take Cairo away, his great, beautiful body covered by a white sheet, all my hopes and dreams and desires leaving with him as they wheeled him out of the tent.

I could barely feel Milan's hands on my shoulders, comforting me the best she could. I could barely feel the breath in my lungs and the tears on my face, but I knew I would survive. For our son, for him alone.

I felt my stars burning out that day, one by one. But with a universe of love housed beneath your bones, you can survive an awful long time before they're all gone.

I would survive without him, but a hollow kind of life it would be.