A Court of Sunlight and Shadows

This is me trying

A week passed, in which she no longer saw Azriel, nor Nuala and Cerridwen.

No one came to the house except Mor, who used to appear out of nowhere when she least expected and always left without saying goodbye.

Her conversation with Azriel kept repeating inside her mind, and the more she weighed those words, the more she realized that the moment had come.

As much as she adored Rhys and Feyre, she needed a place for herself. A small flat, no bigger than a bedroom, a bathroom, and a small kitchen that would house an oven and a few cookers. Rhys had opened her an account of her own, into which he continued to put a portion of his fortune every month for her work on his garden. It was more money than she could ever spend, but he had insisted that it was still less than what he would pay a team of gardeners.  Probably the small fortune she must have accumulated by now would have been enough for a small flat. She would love to live in the city center, perhaps near a park, not far from Rhys and Feyre house, so that she could have her privacy without being too far away from them and little Nyx.

She decided, as she got ready for bed and set the alarm clock on her bedside table to go off a few minutes before dawn, that she would talk it over with Feyre and as early as tomorrow she would go to see some flats.

With that idea in mind, she slipped under the covers, watching the night sky, the stars shining on that dark canvas. Lulled by the darkness, she counted the stars until her eyelids grew heavy.

That night too, she didn't lock the door.

When the alarm clock rang on the bedside table, Elain came downstairs wrapped in a warm dressing gown. With a steaming cup of coffee in her hand she looked out of the window, watching the sun rise over the garden.

Today she was supposed to check some of the medical plants she was growing. No one seemed to have paid any attention to it, but during Feyre's pregnancy and Madja's constant visits she had started going through some healing books she had found in the library, and had retrieved some of the seeds.

She waited for the sun to make its appearance over the mountains before changing and going down to the garden.

To her surprise, her plants seemed to be growing well. She could contact Madja and offer them to her, or perhaps ask her if she needed any other ingredients in particular. It was the only way she could feel somewhat useful to others.

She did not like the idea of sitting here doing nothing while her sisters were dealing with far more important issues.Yet, she felt powerless, like there was not much she could do. She didn't want to admit that she felt like a burden, and she knew that if she ever mentioned it to others, she would soon be corrected or even reprimanded for having these thoughts. And then they would be out to console and be concerned about her.

It couldn't happen again. She had allowed herself enough self-pity for what she had lost.

She could no longer bear to feel that helpless.

She remained in the garden as the sun slowly rose in the sky, enjoying the silence of the still sleeping city.

Before going upstairs to change and go talk to Feyre, she stopped to check the seeds Lucien had given her. She was surprised by his gift, and if those seeds came from the spring court, she could only imagine the wonders they would bring once they blossomed. However, much to her disappointment, the soil showed no signs of life.

When she knocked on Feyre's doorstep an hour later, she could hear the sound of plastic objects banging against the floor, followed by an exasperated sigh from her sister.

She smiled, waiting patiently for her to open the door.

To her surprise, however, it was Cassian who opened it for her.  "Oh, good morning to you Elain."