Bells for Harry [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 5 Her

There didn't seem to be a point in moving from the spot when Jordan left. His boyfriend clearly needed some space, and Louis felt no desire to go inside where Harry had probably had enough time to think of another hurtful thing to come back at him, so he just sat outside, smoking and bearing the heavy worries that seemed to weigh him down.

"I knew you'd be hiding somewhere like here," Shana said, jumping out from the spot where the hedge doubled the corner. "What's up, homie?" she asked, making herself comfortable on his lap and stealing his cigarette from him to take a drag.

It was late November, leaves from the nearby trees were falling around them, and the nights were already more than cool. But Shana was chilling out there in her short denim shorts and a deep cut v-neck shirt. Her legs felt warm when Louis's had accidentally brushed against her thigh. It felt comforting, yet somewhat awkward to have his friend pressed against him like that.

"Nothing's up, I'm just tired as fuck," he complained, reaching out to get his cigarette back. "What are they doing inside, playing any games?"

"Oh yeah," Shana laughed, giving back the cigarette and adjusting her cleavage. "It's fun in there, you missed a lot. Harry's totally ignoring his girlfriend in favor of someone else, so she's pissed and started making out with some other guy like the child that she is. There's drama with Liam's GF too. They were playing a drinking game and she tried to make out with Niall. Everyone's unhinged."

"Thanks for the recap," Louis said, taking the last drag and putting the cigarette out. "Glad I missed all of that shit. I'll go back inside when everyone's drunk enough that they don't have energy left to start any more shit."

"You look sad," she said, watching him thoughtfully while she bit the inside of her lip.

He didn't know what to say. Shana was more Dani and Harry's confidante, and secretly he'd always thought that she and Dani were hooking up and keeping it quiet. Since they didn't usually have heart to hears, he didn't try because he knew that he'd end up asking about that, and he didn't want to be a snoop. If he was honest with himself, he'd avoided sharing his worries and feelings with anyone but Jordan occasionally. He wasn't much of a talker, never had been, but he'd gotten used to always having someone close who could read him like a book without him even have to open his mouth. Harry.

"Did you hear me?" he blinked. "I said you look sad, L. What's going through your mind?"

I want Harry to be thirteen and little and sweet again.

"Just general stress," Louis said lamely. "Harry kind of hit a nerve earlier," he admitted when she rolled his eyes at his first reply. She was one of his closest friends, damn it, Harry or not, Shana was someone he knew he could talk to. "I think Jordan is having second thought about us. Or he thinks I'm having second thoughts. He seemed pretty convinced of that, actually. We sort of had a fight earlier."

Shana's eyes widened. She didn't say anything for a moment, and then she shook her head like she was dismissing a thought she'd had. But then she looked at him sharply.

"Wait, are you? Having second thoughts?" she asked.

Louis sighed. "No. Not really. It's complicated," he said, again lamely.

Shana straightened her spine, and leaned forward to be even closer to him. "Bruh, when it comes to wanting someone, it's pretty black and white. Either you do, or you don't," she said.

Louis remained silent.

Shana let out a breathy laugh. "Really!" she said, sounding astonished. But then her demeanor grew more serious, and she spoke in a soothing tone. "Louis, we're young. You've been together for a while, but there's still so much to figure out in life. Committing at this age... it's a lot. And we all know how hard college is going to be with your ambitions, design and architecture... that's a lot, and let's not even talk about med school. He's insane if he thinks everything will stay the same."

He really looked at her for the first time then. Something about the way she said everything he already thought in silence eased the pressure inside him a little bit. He should've talked to her sooner.

"Thanks, S," he said. "You know what? It's not a good thing to admit, but I actually thought that even thinking about a breakup would devastate me. But I don't know, even though I don't want that, I feel like I'll be okay no matter what happens. I didn't use to think that."

She smiled, and nodded. "That's completely normal. You know, I think another thing that's kind of fucked up is that you're pretty popular at school, but you're not taking full advantage of that at all."

Louis knew he was popular at school. He'd counted on it when he'd set Harry up to be made fun of earlier. And there was also the fact that they didn't live in a large town, but no one had even blinked when he'd come out, and Jordan and him walked around together touching, without ever having had a negative experience, not at school, not anywhere.

"I don't really see advantages there are to it, apart from relative peace and people lending me their notes," he told Shana.

"Oh, come one!" she whacked him on his arm. "You know what I mean. I'm sure there's a ton of people who are just waiting for you and Jordan to break up to have a chance with you. You should enjoy yourself more."

"It's not really something that's on the forefront of my mind, S," he said tiredly. "High school is not exactly the sexiest place in the world. Besides, I'm better suited for a relationship, I have way too many things to do to be out there getting crazy and erratic when it's almost our senior year of high school."

"That'll be next year, babe," Shana laughed, and then she lowered her tone. "I'm not kidding, you should try more things."

She was silent after that, and Louis, who was starting to feel uncomfortable with her weight cutting of his circulation, looked at her again after they'd been in silence for a while. She was watching him from under her beautiful, long black lashes.

"Okay," he said, shifting around in the chair a little. "I'll keep your advice in mind."

She shifted around with him, still watching him and adjusting her t-shirt again. Then she sighed, looking somewhat disappointed.

"Nothing at all, huh?" she asked quietly.

"What," Louis said, confused. "No, I probably won't follow your advice, but thank you for caring anyway."

She laughed, but there wasn't a lot of humor in it. "Fucking boys," she said, getting up from his lap and straightening his pants. "I'm going back inside, you should come with me. Liam's gonna be mad if you're not in any pictures when he gets super boring reviewing them tomorrow. Let's go!"

Louis nodded, resigned, and they both made their way inside. Just as he'd expected, it was a complete shit show.