Colors (rewritten)

KRISTEN

I can't believe I used to think my life was boring, well it kinda was but not anymore! I mean, if someone had told me that one day I would be posing in nothing but an oversized sweater in my bedroom while some punk boy took provocative pictures of me, I wouldn't have believed them.

It sounds so bizarre but it's actually happening. It's all part of Santiago's brilliant plan to finally get Mr Zukov to really notice me. Apparently he believes if I'm confident in my body and can actually believe I'm sexy and hot enough for Mr Zukov, I can actually get him. I'm not very confident in this plan and the way Santiago is going about it but I can't really entertain my skepticism because I don't really have any other ideas.

Plus Santiago is the only one who's really helping me out lately. In fact, I'm seeing more of him than any of my so called best friends.

With a heavy heart I finally stopped trying to reach out to Max and Ashley. It seemed fruitless to continuously try and talk to them when they didn't seem interested. I know I didn't do anything wrong to either of them but if I did I hope they will reach out so we can talk about it. But until then I guess I'm stuck with Santiago who is not all that bad if you ask me.

"Are we almost done?" I ask for what feels like the hundredth time now.

"Almost," Santiago answers as he lowers the camera. "Maybe we should try taking one where you are not wrapping your hands around your body."

"Ummm, am I not looking okay?" I sound so nervous, but I can't help it because I'm not used to being exposed like this.

"Well it kinda looks like you are being forced into this. You want to seduce him, not have him think this is some kind of child pornography."

My eyes widen in horror. "Its that bad?"

Santiago sighs, clearly exasperated by my unwillingness to look sexy. He sits next to me on the bed. "Try to relax Conte." He says, placing his hand on the back of my neck, instantly making me shiver. "Relax, okay." He repeats, his fingers softly caressing me.

Its probably nothing and Santiago is just being a good friend by trying to help me out, but I can't help how I sometimes react to him, especially when he touches me or he's this close to me. And he did kiss me at Mckayla's party and I totally didn't see it coming.

He's so unpredictable and it kinda makes me nervous.

"Now, do you think we can try again?" He asks after a little while and it takes me a minute to understand what he's asking.

"Yes" I nod my head a few times. "Yes, I'm relaxed now."

"Good," he gets up from the bed. "Okay, I want you to sit on the bed with your legs folded beneath you." He instructs.

"Ummm ok." I do what he says. "What should I do with my hands?"

"Anything that feels natural." He simply says and starts clicking on the camera.

The first flash surprise me and if I could guess what I look like in that picture it would be something like a deer in headlights.

"Oh dear," Santiago sighs.

"I'm trying!" I quickly defend myself.

"Maybe I should try taking candid shots of you."

Now I'm the exasperated one. "I'm sorry I don't have sexiness in my DNA. This would be easier if I were Mckayla or Max."

"Don't do that. You are beautiful and sexy, there's no need to compare yourself with your friends." He clicks on the camera. "I remember the first time I saw you."

"Really?" I don't even remember the first time I met him.

"Yeah," he snaps another picture. "It was your first day here and you tripped and I helped you to your feet. You looked at me and I thought, 'damn she's beautiful.'"

I'm beyond surprised, my first day is not particularly a fond memory. I made a complete fool of myself when I tripped and fell. But now hearing Santiago talk about the incident in a completely different light, makes me want to revisit that awkward and embarrassing encounter.

"That was you?" I can't keep the shock out of my voice.

Santiago gives me a goofy smile. "Yeah," he sounds uncharacteristically shy. "Someone had to, you were a mess Conte."

I playfully slap his arm. "Oh shut up." I giggle and he snaps a picture of me.

"You are beautiful," he says in a low voice and I instantly stop giggling.

Santiago raises his hand to my face and his fingers softly touch my lips. My heart thumbs and I close my eyes, reeling from the way he's touching me. I'm also aware of the way I'm leaning closer to him. I want him to touch me some more, to kiss me, to do something.

Oh my God, I think I have feelings for Santiago!

No that can't be, I love Mr Zukov. Santiago and I are just friends, nothing more.

"Santiago," I place my hand on his chest to create some distance between us.

"What?" He whispers and I just shake my head, not knowing what to say.

Santiago sighs heavily before kissing me in the forehead. "Don't worry Conte, I would never try and ruin our friendship like that." He drops his hand to my face and moves away from me.

He starts growing through the pictures he took of me, probably as a say to distract himself from our awkward encounter. I don't know what to do, I hope I didn't offend him or hurt his feelings. He's been so nice to me, way nicer than my friends have been lately and the last thing I want to do is upset him.

"That belongs to my brother." I suddenly blurt out.

Santiago looks up at me. "What?" He asks.

"The camera." I point at the Nikon camera. "It belongs to my twin brother Kyle."

Santiago frowns. "I didn't you were a twin."

"Not many people know about him." I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. "He died in a car accident with our father." I tell him, my tears blurring the view of the ceiling. "It was a bad day, losing two people like that but mom said at least they were together, they wouldn't be lonely in heaven, she told me."

"I'm so sorry."

"Its okay." I murmur without looking at him. "I miss him but my mom misses him more. I was his twin but he was a part of my mother. Sometimes I think she believes he's still with us. Every year on our birthday, she buys both of us gifts. She even buys two cakes, a pink and a blue one."

"That's understandable. Mothers are usually very protective of their kids. Your mom's reaction is totally normal, its the way any decent mother would react after an untimely death of her son."

Tears continue to spill from my eyes and not just for my late brother and father or my mom's weird grieving, but for Santiago as well.

I don't know much about his and Tatiana's family life, but from the little I know it's not pretty. Their mother is always portrayed as neglectful and her boyfriend is apparently very abusive. Knowing that they go through that shit breaks my heart.

My mother may be unconventional and age might not be the warmest person at times, but I'm proud to say she loves me and would probably give her life for me.

I grab Santiago's hand, intertwining our fingers. "I have got you." I say quietly.

He doesn't reply me but he still holds on to my hand.