Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer

Part 60

60

Caitlin yawned, covering her mouth with one hand. The gloves were gone. I could tell how tired she was, for she looked like a doll flung into the seat, slumped between the leather and the seatbelt with her eyes half-closed.

"Should we pick up a pizza on the way home?" I asked gently, glancing at her just in time to see her eyes slide shut.

"Mmm?" Caitlin's eyes shot open as she straightened in her seat. "Sure. I'm still sleepy, so it's best that I don't cook."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. "Here, you call your local pizza shop so it'll be ready to pick up when we get there. You'll just have to tell me where to go."

She took my phone with both hands. "What do you want?"

I shrugged, slowing down to stop for a red light. "Whatever. I don't mind."

She spoke in a low voice to the pizza shop while I weaved through the peak hour traffic, wishing the weary commuters wouldn't keep cutting me off as if they couldn't see my blazing red car. Maybe if I owned a different colour car…

Caitlin insisted on accompanying me into the pizza shop, though she leaned heavily on me every step of the way.

"Caitlin! It's been a while," said the woman behind the counter when we walked into her shop. "We all thought…"

The smile on Caitlin's lips melted me like ice cream. "Ah, you know I always come back here. You make the best pizzas. And there's a new dessert one, too!"

I looked at the menu. Apricots on pizza? Oh, wait, those are the dessert ones…

Caitlin handed over some money and the pizza woman held out the boxes with some hesitation. "I'll help carry these out to the car for you."

Caitlin smiled and nodded her thanks, turning with me to head back to the car. Once I'd carefully helped her into the passenger seat, the woman deposited the pizza boxes on her lap and stood by the door of her shop to wave goodbye. Caitlin lifted a languid hand to respond.

I kept throwing glances at her as we drove the short distance back to her house, until I finally said, "Everyone knows you, don't they?"

Her sleepy smile widened. "I've lived in this area for a while. The people in the local shops see me a lot and remember me, that's all."

The smell of pizza pervaded the car, reminding me how hungry I was, but I carried Caitlin into the house before I returned for the boxes and the shopping.

Caitlin ate on autopilot, swaying in her seat, she was so sleepy. I grabbed a slice from the box and bit into it without tasting it, deciding to put her food away for her. She could always shift it around when she wasn't so tired.

I lifted the bag of strawberry punnets first and opened the fridge. The sharp smell of bleach fumes wafted out of the white interior, the fur seared from every surface. I coughed and wrapped the bag around them, before placing the whole package into the now pristine, cat-free crisper.

Most of her purchases were frozen – packaged in portions that didn't need much preparation, I realised, as I stuck the packets in the freezer. Pre-made meals, bite-sized pieces of chicken and fish, pre-cut vegetables. Individual tubs of yoghurt, fresh fruit juice and milk all went into the pungent fridge, along with a bag of grated cheese.

I wished I'd looked more closely at the contents of her trolley while we were still at the shop. I'd have bought her steak and stuff I could cook for her. I wondered if she'd skipped meat because she was vegetarian or if she had other reasons. I stared at the slice of pizza in my hand, the same as she was eating. Between the steak strips, salami and sausage, the slice scotched any thought of Caitlin being vegetarian. I looked up, wanting to ask why.

Drooping over her plate at the dining table, Caitlin had managed to swallow a couple of slices but now she was about to fall asleep in her dinner.

"Hey!" I reached out to catch her before her face hit the plate.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "So tired… Should put the pizza away and sleep…"

"I'll fridge your leftovers," I replied, straightening up and reaching for the box. "Then I can help you to bed."

I stuck the remaining pizza in a plastic box before I slid it onto a fridge shelf. The smell was enough to make me close the door quickly.

I turned to see her barely managing to stay on her feet, her knuckles white as she held onto the back of her chair. "Let me help you," I begged, my arms out ready to lift her up. For the second time that day, I carried Caitlin to bed. And for the second time that day, she asked me to stay, so I did – stretched out on her bed, beside her, waiting for her to fall asleep so I could go sleep on the couch.

I closed my eyes, listening to her breathing slow into sleep, smiling. She's safe.

I woke to a faint glow behind my eyelids, my nose full of a sweet smell. I breathed deeply, trying to identify the fruity scent that reminded me of soap. I opened my eyes. Oh shit. I closed them again.

My face was buried in Caitlin's hair, my head resting beside hers on her pillow. She lay on her side, turned away from me, but that hadn't stopped me from sidling closer to her in sleep. I could feel the warmth of her body through my jeans, so I'd been cuddling up to her for some time. I'd even thrown an arm across her waist. Shit, I was spooning a girl I'd just slept with and sex hadn't been a part of it. Though my body definitely had ideas in that direction. Thank God I'm wearing jeans instead of pyjamas. It'll be harder for her to tell what I'm thinking. Fuck, this is Caitlin! I pulled away from her as stealthily as I could, not wanting to ruin a nightmare-free night by inspiring one.

Not stealthy enough – Caitlin shifted as I did. Her body pressed along my side, she gave me a quick hug, then sat up. Her light lips touched my cheek and she whispered, "Thank you," before I felt her weight lift off the bed. Her bare feet padded on the timber boards as she headed down the hallway.

I sat up as soon as she was out of sight. I'd slept in my clothes, so I was all set for the walk of shame to my car in front of Caitlin's whole street. Ah, it wasn't the first time I'd done such a thing and last night had been better than most. Even without any sex.

Caitlin returned, her face shiny and damp, an excited smile on her face. "Would you like breakfast?"

"Sure," I replied. "Do you have any cornflakes?"

Her face fell. "No. And if we do, they're so stale they'd be inedible." She walked out, one hand on the wall to steady her steps.

Not sure what I'd said wrong, I hurried to follow her. I entered the kitchen just in time to see the bin lid close over the cornflake box. Caitlin's eyes were on the box and she looked angry.

I opened my mouth to say the first thing that came to mind. "You really don't like cornflakes, do you?"

Her hard glare turned on me. "No, I don't." She reached into the fridge and pulled out two yoghurts, holding one out to me.

"I'm right," I answered. My stomach growled a different answer. To cover the noise, I continued, "I should probably head home."

Caitlin's smile was understanding. "I know. Thank you for staying." She hesitated, then went on, "Will you…could you…please, could you come over tonight and stay again? I feel safer when you're here and I'm not alone at night." Her eyes were suddenly huge.

"Sure. I'll take you out for dinner tonight, if you like. I'll stay any night you want me," I replied easily, without a second thought.

She smiled sadly and I realised, She'll never want me. But I'll be back anyway.

I waved and wished her a nice day, then climbed into my car to pick up breakfast from McDonald's on my way home.