love & hate | wroetoshaw

f i f t e e n

"what are you doing!?" jj shouts at the tv, "why would you go in there? she clearly knows what's going to happen."

at the moment, a group of us are over at simon and jjs flat. we decided on having a horror movie night, a chance for us all to relax after a busy week. i finally chose an apartment, coming to the decision of taking the one in the same building as the others. my new apartment being straight underneath harry and cals, a couple floors above simon and jjs. the boys had been filming all week in germany, filming some sort of race across country video.

jj had been giving us all a narrative of the movies we had watched, getting aggravated by all of them. not that i can blame him, all of the characters going into dark rooms where noises had come from. i'd be running the opposite way.

sadly, harry isn't here. he went out with a couple of his mates around lunchtime and hasn't returned yet. tobi sent him a text not too long ago, telling him to join us when he's back.

the past few days since me and harry played twenty questions and got drunk together has been pretty chilled. neither of us feel as awkward around each other anymore, which is a plus. no arguments or tension has snuck its way up.

"bro!" jj shouts at the top of his voice, causing the group to jump out of their skin.

"holy shit, jj. you nearly gave me a heart attack," tobi scolds him, holding his hand over his heart.

"i honestly think i've just wet myself," ethan says, putting his head in his hands.

"tea, anyone?" i ask, needing to stretch my legs from being sat down for so long.

"yeah, please," cal replies, ethan agreeing.

"sure, anyone else?"

i get a mumble of random noises from the other four boys, which i take as a no. i wander through to the kitchen and fill the kettle with fresh water, grabbing some mugs out of the cupboard. i hear the front door to the apartment open and be slammed shut. swiftly, i turn around and watch as harry stomps into the living room where the others are sat.

"harry, mate, what's wrong?" cal asks, sitting up in his seat.

"i'm fucking done with this shit!" he rages, his face flustered from the anger.

simon pauses the film and turns to look at the red faced man stood in the middle of the room. i slowly edge my way towards the kitchen door, examining his features.

"what's happened?" ethan asks calmly, the complete opposite to harry's demeanour.

"why do people have to assume such stupid shit? it's fucking ridiculous and i'm sick of it!" harry panics, beginning to walk in my direction.

i walk back into the kitchen after hearing the kettle finish boiling, pretending like i wasn't listening. i drop a teabag in each of the empty mugs, pouring the hot water into them.

harry leans against the counter and rests his head in his hands. i turn around and watch him for a minute, debating whether to ask if he's okay. i would rather not be on the receiving end of his anger and due to our small feud, i'd be an easy target.

"do you want a cuppa?" i ask the first thing that pops into my head.

he looks up from his position and slowly nods, putting his head back down a moment later. i turn around and grab another cup from the cupboard and repeat what i had previously done with the others. i pour some milk into it and a teaspoon of sugar, just how he likes it as he told me in our game of twenty questions. i pass it to him, receiving a quiet 'thank you' in return.

"can i talk to you?" he asks, his voice still quiet.

"yeah sure, let me give these to the boys and i'll be right back," i say, picking up ethan and cals mugs and taking them to the two boys, who are sat lazily on the couch, their eyes focused on the now unpaused movie.

"thanks, bella," ethan says, taking the tea and sipping it.

"what's up with bog?" tobi asks, leaning his head to the side.

"i don't know," i sigh, "if he says anything ill report back."

he chuckles and looks back towards the tv as i make my way back into the kitchen. i close the door behind me and sit on the countertop next to him, simon and jj not owning stools for some reason. i take a sip of my own mug of tea.

"so, what's up?" i question, cautious about his bad mood.

"i don't know, you seem to be the only person that won't make jokes or take the piss about something like this," he sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"i won't."

"i just-" he hesitates, "i'm sick of fans and the public assuming things about me. you know, trying to stick their noses into my private life."

"why? what happened?" i ask, sending him a comforting smile.

"as you already know, i went out with a couple of mates today, just to catch up. some fans saw me and took pictures of our group, purposely making it look like i was just with a girl," he explains, tapping his hand on the countertop, "who, by the way, is one of my old friends girlfriend. he was there too. now the pictures have gone around and people are trying to accuse me of sneaking around with this lass behind my mates back."

"that's pretty messed up," i say, unsure of what else to reply with.

"every female i come into contact with, i get accused of dating them or something. i'm just tired of the same shit happening all the time. why can't people just keep their big noses out of it? is it too much to ask to have some privacy?"

"it must get annoying, i don't know how you guys do all of this," i admit.

"all of what?" he says, looking up at me.

"all this celebrity stuff, being famous. i'd be exhausted if i were you," i say, taking another sip of my tea.

"i am exhausted, i really am. i just can't be arsed anymore," he says, defeated. i fight the urge to run over to him and give him a hug.

"why don't you have a break?" i suggest, my answer seeming stupid now that it has left my mouth.

"no, i can't do that. there's too much stuff to do for the sidemen channel," he sighs, "i can't leave the lads to do it by themselves."

"look, i'm sure the boys wouldn't mind. i've known simon and jj for years, i know they'd understand and support you. they only want what's best for you."

"i guess," he smiles slightly, "thanks for listening to me rant like a nobhead."

i let out a quiet laugh, "anytime, not that i'm much help."

we sit in silence for a minute, the occasional shriek coming from the boys in the living room. i jump down off the counter and walk over to harry, giving him a gentle hug. he stiffens up at the gesture, but slowly relaxes and wraps his arms around me. i pull away and stand close to him, one of his arms resting on my waste.

"i'm always here if you need to rant," i smile, "i may not be good at giving advice, but i'm a good listener."

"thanks, you too," he says, a smile creeping up on his face. his eyes flicker around my face before landing on my lips, then back up to my eyes. i feel the heat in my face rise and those same butterflies slowly emerge.

i cough and take a step back, his arms dropping to his side. he looks down at his tea and closes his eyes briefly. i punch him lightly on the arm.

"come on, i want to see how much of a pussy you are with horror films."