To Save A Fox

Chapter 19 -- Kuzunoha

Erlend sat beside Sakai and I as he just stared at the torn cadavers upon the stone table. He appeared to be starving, and the smell of blood and flesh had made him crave meat. But his humanity had got in the way as he could not bring himself up to eating Ainu.

When it was time to feast, the actions of the clan had made Erlend horrified as he sat there frozen with terror, watching all of us tear into the flesh and devour it whole. My eyes continued to glance at the child as I offered him a piece of Ainu thigh.

Erlend refused it as I glanced at Sakai.

"He has to eat something or he'll starve." I told her as Sakai nodded, talking to him in their language.

[Erlend, are you not hungry?] Sakai asked as he nodded his head.

[I am starving!]

[Then eat!] she growled at him as the young boy was stubborn, shaking his head. Sakai looked irritated as I just sat there, guarding my meat from the other hungry kitsunes.

[I am not hungry enough to eat people!] he told her.

"He doesn't want to eat his own kind." Sakai groans, finding the child to be rather difficult.

At one time both Sakai and I were the same, disgusted at the mere thought of eating people. But over the many years and months that would follow, we have become only kitsune. The lingering humanity that has stopped us from eating another person has been devoured long ago.

I took a piece of food and chewed it up as I then took out the bolus and with Sakai's help, she pried open his mouth and I put the chewed-up ball of meat and saliva into his mouth and we encouraged him to swallow it.

He gagged and squirmed as he finally swallowed the wad of meat, looking rather sickly. I chewed up another ball of meat and we repeated the process over and over until he could not take another bite.

With dinner out of the way, he just lingered there as he felt so lost and abandoned. He was struggling with morals as he cried to Sakai.

[I ate them.] he wept.

[Do not mourn the dead, Erlend.] Sakai told him [We consume their flesh so that they can become a part of us. To let their meat, go to waste is a crime! Do you want to live?] she asked as he nodded [Then you need to eat!]

Outside, Erlend walked with us as he had much on his mind.

[Am I too going to become a kitsune?] he asked Sakai.

[Very likely.]

The young man looked up at me as he seemed scared of the terrible power that I possess [Will she eat me?] he asked Sakai. Sakai glanced at me, giggling.

[Only if you irritate her.] her words frightening him [Don't worry about her, she is a good person. She helped save my life and raised me to become the kitsune that I am today. If you try to behave like one of our kin, she'll be your greatest ally.]

[I wonder what it is like?] he commented [To become a kitsune.]

[It hurts.] Sakai told him truthfully [It is like having your old body ripped apart and passed back together. Do you remember your fever?] she asked him as he nodded.

[I am still very warm—like I've been burned by the sun.]

[That is just part of becoming a kitsune. What shape or form that you take, it is all up to Mikuzume to decide.]

[What if I do not turn into a fox?! Will your people still be so kind to me?] his fears bubbling up to the surface.

[I will not lie to you, Erlend. I do not know how your body will react to foxbane. Right now, you seem to be handling its effects quite well.] Sakai was wondering if she should try to change the boy using her grandma's foxbane potion—she did not want to leave him as an Ainu while the clan was preparing for war.