this will be inconsistent random vents, prob short random things. i might put a date on them to separate some but dont count on it or expect me to worry about spelling, you may now continue.
LOG 1- 12:36 PM 4/3/2023- writing like this makes me feel like someone from star trek or something lol...anyway! im lightheaded right now and its a bit harder to think/react to stuff.
LOG 2- 11:31 AM 4/24/2023- it feels hard to take a full breath, even if i can feel the air coming in/coming out of my nose/mouth it feels like i am not getting the air sometimes, i am also struggling with not feeling like me, i love me- i don't have issues about self love, but i don't FEEL LIKE ME it used to just be triggered by mirrors/ the bathroom but its in other places and more frequent and more serious now. i think its called dissociation. i read somewhere that journaling can help, im making this an online one of sorts that other people can comment on.
LOG 3- 1:56 PM 4/26/2023- it feels hard to take a full breath and breath sometimes in general, it gets hard to breath, i will get anxious and worried about that- and then that anxious energy makes it worse and it therefore lasts even longer in a cruel cycle. it is even happening while i type this RIGHT NOW. i keep thinking something is wrong and therefore making it so much worse and worse. :<
LOG 4- 9:43 AM 5/27/2023- i have been putting off venting- not a good idea, my breathing got worse again- i take something small, like being slightly out of breath- or my heart having a flutter- and make it so much fucking worse- i scare myself, making it worse- its hard to breath in the morning these past two days, i need to distract myself.shit.guwfcycffcjhhsgcguicguggscfhwycfwfycfygcjgyjghd
LOG 5- 10:26 AM 5/27/2030- hmmmmmmm something not anxiety related this time- gender today! i uh.. sorta relate to woman and nonbinary peeps- there is a term called"demigirl" that sounds like what i feel, but for some reason i feel uncomfy labeling it? idk why- i mean i go by she/they- clothes just.. hit different now- and maybe it has a little to deal with the "not me feeling" which might be called dissociation so eeeeeeeeeehhh :/???
LOG 6, Friday,July 7, 2023, 10:10. AM.tablet. (MILD..ALOT OF SWEARING)eeeggghhhhhhhhghhgghhh my head is light headed and my mind make it woorrrrrssseee i made me wooryy like hellllllll uuuggghhh i worry about my head and make my head worrsseee, I'm dissociation is kickin my but too, but i also found out im demigirl. This is prob my lowest quality vent so far but fuucckkking ayyyeeeeee my heeeeeeaaaadddddd uuugdghdhdhdhxydgdghdhshsgdghxhxhdhdhdhdhbxskisjdhdhdhsjsjsnjsjsjsjsjsjjsjsmxmxhsysgbshshxjxjxjjxhxhshshsjhsnsjsjjsmsjshstxgshjsjshshshshhdhdhhdhdhehehhehshshhshshshshhehhshshshchg fuickity fuickity fuickity fuickity fuuuooocckkkikkkkin fuickity FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- BODY,WHY YOU NO CALM AND WHEN DID I START TALKING ABOUT MY BODY AN MIND AS IF THERE 2 Separate Entities? LIKE I TELL MY BODY TO CALM DOWN, NOT MYSELF TO CALM DOWN WHAT DA FUOCK.
LOL I WOULD FUCKING DIE WITHOUT ALL THIS AUTO AVACADO (once, my auto correct corrected to "auto AVACADO" so now I call it AUTO AVACADO. LOOOOOOL
YOU ARE READING
"IS THE END REALLY THE END?"
Random"everyone has fears, and today i will share mine with you." this is a vent/reflective essay that i wrote, thought i would share- maybe we could talk about it- this has some messed up stuff so i'm giving many warnings (read the tags below)...
