he saved me

Boggart

The Christmas vacation has passed by like a flash. I tried so hard to not let the fear take over. I've been talking to my dad about my urges. He's been really understanding and helpful like always. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with fred. We decided that the time we broke up didn't count as an actual break up bc of my mental health.

Harry and ginny got together. Honestly I saw it coming from miles away. Every since Fred told me ginny liked Harry I noticed how he is with her. So I gave a little nudge. I couldn't help it. I told Harry ginny liked him and well that bloomed into this relationship.

We were having lunch and talking about the 2 of them.

"Isn't it weird that somehow all of us are part of the weasly family now? Hermoine is with ron. Harry with ginny. And I'm with fred" i pointed out.

"Isn't it great?! 1 big family" hermione said exited.
I ate up my lunch and went to lupins class room. I still owed him a good apology not just a cup of tea. So he asked me to help teach the 5th years about boggarts. He had a rough wolf night so he's going to madam pomfrey and will be back when class is halfway through.

The 5th year's walked in.
"We're is professor lupin?" One of the students asked.
"Professor lupin will be with us in a few minutes. I'll be teaching in the mean while and assist when he gets back" 
I answered.
Standing infromt of a class gave me alot of stress. Especially when the students are only 1 year younger than I am.

I waited till everyone arrived.
"Today we will be learning about boggart. Does anybody know what a boggart is?" I ask.
One of the ravenclaws gave the pure definition.

"Great. 5 points to ravenclaw....actually I don't know of I'm allowed to give points? I just write it down" and I do so.

"The spell we will be using is ridiculous" I teach the students how the spell works.

"Ha this is easy I'm not scared of anything " One of the students spoke.
I raised my eyebrows and cleared my throat.
The students go out the way so I can see who spoke.
Once again students were saying I look like my dad. I actually take it as a compliment. He intimates students without being mean. And then he teaches them.

"You may not be scared of something like a snake but everyone has a fear"
I try to explain But he just scoffed.

"I don't. The thing isn't going to show anything" the students acts all though.

"You do that alot acting all though?  Yk most people who act like that feel actually very little inside. Taking all the attention bc they feel alone and usually don't get the right attention at home. I might be guessing all of this but pshychological doesn't lie. So I believe your fear might be to be left out...forgotten...feeling little. Maybe losing your friends or that they belittle you. Yes your fear is not an form or object. But the boggart will take a form that represents that fear. Like your friends saying mean stuff..."
The whole class goes 'oooo'

The boy starts to get nervous and shy and crawls  to the back.
Did I go to far? Maybe I shouldn't have said all that? I should apologise after class.

The class lines up.
"Okay when the object of your fear appears try to think of something funny. Laughter is the opposite of fear"
The students practice the spell again. Now it's time to releas to boggart.

Some students froze in fear but managed to turn it into something funny after a little encouragement.
Lupin was standing in the doorway smiling. I was to bussy focusing on the class while laughing at the figures.

A student steps infront and a man appears saying bad things about her. She freezes and drops her wand. She's defenseless and I had to jump in.

I jump infront of her and the boggart changes. A green foge comes up and it turns into the emerald witch. Before I even felt the fear I used the spell and it turned into a green gass making a fast noise.

The student behind me was trembling. This is when I noticed lupin.

"Okay sorry let's get back to the desks"
Lupin said walking out with the students.

The girl was having a panic attack.
She was crying, her hands and legs were shaking. She put her hand on her chest suggesting she either can't breath or felt pressure.

I've had them too. Both silent and out loud
Hysterical crying, racing thought, pressure on my chest. The panic , the shaking. And the urges that came along with it.

Or the silent one.
On the verge of tears. The pressure, the sweat. The thoughts and feelings.
The first time it happend it was really bad I didn't understand it.

I noticed the girl was pinching her nails in the top of her hand.
I take both hands so she would stop.
"Crying is okay but try to breathe both through nose and mouth. Has this happend before what do you need?"
She nods and says "music" through her hollow breaths.
I look around the room and put on the music player. I move back to the girl and lupin walks in. He comes and helps her to calk her down. I went to the students.

They were doing a research on the subject.
I kept thinking about the emerald witch. The way she appeared infront of me. She looked so different than I do. So evil, mad...

Class was over and everyone walks out. Execpt lupin and the girl.
"Thanks for the help" she says shy but appreciative
"I've had panic attacks aswell...no need to be ashamed" I smile at her.
She was about to walk out but stopped.
"What was that thing the boggart turned into? She looked like you" the girl asked.
"Eem it's nothing to worry about." I smile at her uncomfortably.

She walks away and i turn to lupin.
"Who was the man she was afraid of?" I ask concerned.
"She wouldn't tell me. But she has bruises all over. I believe she might be abused" the word made my heart drop.
"Christmas break just passed. Does that mean she went home to her abuser? I- your going to do something right?"
I play with my hands since this hits close.

The urges fill my head again.

Lupin grabbed both my arms.
"Calm down y/n. We are going to do something. I'll tell mcgonagall ans she will inform the ministry while we try to get her to talk. We are helping. And you already helped aswell. Now go take care of yourself "
I tear escaped my eye.

I look up at him.
"Remus? I need a hug"
The urges were filling my head but I didn't want to cave in. I'm 3 weeks clean. It needs to stay that way.

Remus hugged me ans rubbed my back. He's a really good hugger.

Author: hey guys I'm back home from Paris. So I can write again. I just got home today and I'm so tired. The trip was fun but very exhausting. I also had 2 panic attacks yesterday in a public space so I thought I would add part of that to the story. Idk if I will upload everyday since I need to take care of myself rn and rest before working for art final again.
Thanks for ready and a special thanks to the readers from France.