Bungou Stray Dogs ~ One-shots

[Chuuya xR] A choice without regrets (2/3)

(Spoilers for season two!)

Chuuya.

I still do not know, as I write this letter, when you will return from your mission. But, by the time you read it, I will unfortunately have already left.

Osamu strongly advised me not to write this letter to you... But, in the name of all these years spent by your side, I could not leave without saying goodbye to you.

**

        

Just with this beginning of the letter, he felt his stomach tighten. Kiyoko was gone, she had left him behind. But he kept hoping that this was only temporary, and that the rest of the letter would confirm this fact. He still believed in the hypothesis of the last-minute mission.

But, in that case, why did she say 'in the name of all the years spent by your side'? Did someone who was planning to come back actually write this kind of thing in an everyday letter?

And, finally, why was Kiyoko calling Dazai by his first name? Chuuya had seen them talking many times before, that is for sure, and they seemed rather close. But, since Kiyoko was like this with everyone, he never really noticed, and always thought they were just friends. Besides, every time, his girlfriend would call the bastard by his last name.

So why? A hypothesis insinuated itself in him like the most violent of poisons. If Dazai had advised her not to write this letter... That meant that they could have potentially run away together.

What if...

What if they had been in a romantic relationship all this time, without him realizing it before? Had Kiyoko been cheating on him with that first-class jerk, his sweet and loving girlfriend?

Was everything he thought he had with her just a big lie?

Shocked, his face white as snow, Chuuya had no choice but to collapse on the chair next to him, the one Kiyoko used almost every day. The only light available to him was a small lamp on the dark wooden desk.

Wide-eyed, with a feeling of pure distress in him, Chuuya ventured to read on, in order to get answers to his desperate questions, even though he was not sure he really wanted to.

He was afraid, for the first time in a long while.

          

**

This has been the hardest decision of my life, believe me. First, I would like to say that I am terribly sorry for everything I have put you through, and for what my actions will mean in the future.

Just a few days ago, Osamu's friend was killed in a mission, due to Mori's more or less hidden schemes. Odasaku was Osamu's dearest friend, and this was the trigger, as well as the last words of this friend, that Osamu needed to leave the Mafia.

I never told you about this, in order to respect the oath between Osamu and me, but a special bond links us both. Osamu is actually my little brother. Something that did not need to be known to anyone, and I think even Mori only recently found out. Simply for security reasons.

Neither Osamu nor I wanted this connection to be used to harm either of us. That is why I never said anything to you either. I had planned to, believe me. But I was afraid, for some reason.