Our Special Journey

3. My Condition Came to Grief

One night, his daughter got home and saw me nearly leaving. She was five years old and living with her mother because of her parents' divorce. I was walking toward the entrance gate seeing her in front of me. Her sudden appearance shocked me enough to not to be able to move any further. Her father was surprised by this incident and then looked at me in a miserable way. Then, he turned back to her and asked: "Hi love! Is everything alright?"
"Hi dad! Yes, everything's fine. Don't worry. Mom had to be somewhere then she dropped me off here. She called you, but you didn't answer." Afterward, she turned to me and asked curiously: "Hi! Who are you? Have we met before?"
I had a feeling of being scanned from head to toe by the way she was looking at me. I looked at her with a smile and then replied: "Hi Princess! How are you? It's our first meeting. Nice to meet you." She was surprised in a good way and said: "I'm fine, thanks. You too. Why am I honored by meeting you here?!"
Her dad seemed to be in trouble by her last question. I looked at him and then turned to her. He wanted to say something but I replied sooner: "Well, in fact, I'm honored by meeting you here."
"You didn't answer my question. You just delivered it back to me in a nice way. Forget it. It's cold. Let's go inside."
"I was leaving."
"I know. But you come with me and read a story for me in my room. You don't put yourself in a position to lose my interest in you when I ask you to stay. You can leave later."
I pressed my lips together. Her dad was shocked by this answer. We both looked at each other with surprise and in vain. I asked him: "Is it OK with you?"
His daughter said hastily: "Of course, he's OK."
Then he answered: "I'm ok If you feel ok. I'm sorry." His eyes were sad. I could read him by his eyes easily.
"Dad, I'm freezing. Let's go inside."

The warm atmosphere of the house was delightful. She went to the kitchen and found something to eat. I sat on a couch in the hall and looked at him. He was confused. I was going downhill because I started the process with one condition that was fading out right after seeing his daughter. I had only one condition before our sessions being started as to not be seen by any one of his relatives, friends, mates, and coworkers. He was famous and I didn't want rumors and gossips. In fact, the main reason for this term is that I'm an introvert and private individual. In other words, I want a trouble-free, simple, and peaceful life as much as possible. Thus, our meetings were in secret and basically off-the-record.

We both sat in silence. She came to us and took my hand, then said: "Please come with me. Dad, she'll read my favorite story. When I fall asleep, she can leave." She said it in a naive way. He nodded in silence. It seemed his mind was somewhere else. I followed her upstairs and then to her room. After helping her with her clothes, she gave me a book. Her favorite story was Cinderella. I sat next to her bed and started reading. It was my first experience of reading a book for a 5-year-old girl. In a short time, she fell asleep silently and innocently. I admit that I never liked to be a mother. I didn't want to bring children to a world like this to suffer like us. Sure enough, it was a realistic choice for me. However, the whole experience was great to me that night.