Dear Valentina [The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel]

⠀⠀⠀DEAR MARGO: May 2nd, 1959

DEAR MARGO
ADVICE COLUMN

PUBLISH 1X A WEEK

MAY 2ND, 1959

DEAR MARGO:

Three years ago, I lent my daughter and her husband $35,000 so they could purchase a lovely house on Staten Island. I told them explicitly that they could pay me back when they were financially able (no mention was made about 'interest'). After two years, there was nothing about repaying the loan, so I asked them when they intended to pay me back. They just looked at each other, then changed the subject. By the way, their combined incomes come close to $100,000 annually.

Now they tell me that they considered the money a gift, and they will not be paying it back! Needless to say, we are not speaking. Is there anything I can do to get my money back? Can I take them to court? - BESIDE MYSELF

DEAR BESIDE MYSELF:

Can you take them to court? Of course you can, but in the absence of a written note stating that the $35,000 was a loan, you not only bought them a house - you bought yourself a headache. With that being said, if you can avoid a lengthy (and costly) court appearance that will ultimately fracture your relationship permanently, I would recommend trying to reach out and mend things once again. Reiterate that you made the terms of the loan very clear and were more generous than any bank or company could have been. Try to offer an olive branch and say if they don't want to pay you a single full payment, then try to figure out a monthly payment schedule. Emphasize how if they don't respect you and make good on their end of the bargain, you will have to cut yourself off from them, because you refuse to be taken advantage off.

If communication fails then your first order of business: Call your lawyer. You second order of business: Pour yourself a martini. And your final order of business: Reassess your generosity. It's incredibly kind that you wanted to help your daughter and her husband, but you should never give too much of yourself away.

DEAR MARGO: