Blair: I love how it never has occurred to you that someone might not want to see you every single day.
Serena: Someone, sure. Probably lots of people. But not my best friend.
Blair: I really need my friend right now. I've been acting like I'm okay, but I'm not. They say it's a broken heart but... I hurt in my whole body. What if I stay like this forever? What if I never get over Chuck?
Serena: You will. You'll see.
Blair: I just don't know what I'd do without you. I'm scared that if you come to Columbia I'll do something to destroy us.
Serena: Well you pushed me in a fountain tonight and here we are talking about it like mature young women. So I'd say that's a good sign.
Serena: Ugh. If it's about Blair pushing me in the fountain I'm not pressing charges.
Insp. Chevalier: Msr. Bass would not let go of the ring. He fought them hard, so they shot him.
Blair: Chuck was shot?
Serena: Rufus and... baby?
Dan: This is Milo. He's my son.
Serena: Son?
Vanessa: You saw me four months ago. If you thought I was pregnant then I'm offended.
Serena: Okay, is someone gonna help fill me in?
Nate: Not it.
Eric: Still nothing.
Serena: Good. I forgot how exciting the first day of school can be. New fall wardrobe, fresh slate. The fact that Gossip Girl isn't around to stir up trouble only makes it that much more perfect.
Eric: Or she could be planning something big for your first day. After all the site says Under Construction, not Out of Service.
Serena: Wow. And I thought college was going to be different from high school.
Blair: Who'd want that?
Penelope: Sorry, but this is a private club. No has-beens allowed.
Serena: Penelope. Good to see you too. Long time.
Serena: Did you just get a key?
Blair: Yep. And my mom said I'd never get in unless I lost ten pounds. Hm. She's a bitch.
Blair: The woman is a saint! She didn't recoil from those creepy cat rescuers. Or turn away from those pictures of the starving children. She didn't even cringe when that homeless man licked her arm.
Dan: Well she might be used to weird guys licking her.
Serena: Yeah, 'cause she may be a saint but she's also a prostitute.
Blair: No Dan? In that dress. I'm shocked.
Serena: With Dan and Nate behind me I really feel like I can bury the old me and start anew.
Blair: May you rest in peace.
Serena: The only problem is I've been late for my English Lit class a few times and lates count as absences, which—
