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There were no more tears left to shed

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There were no more tears left to shed. His eyes hurt, burning from too much crying even looking in the dark was blinding him.

His voice had gone hoarse from sobbing. His throat had gotten raw from swallowing the pain and screams overflowing from within him.

He lay on the same sofa where Payu had always taken his naps. No pillow or anything, he laid flat on his back, eyes at the ceiling.

"..."

Rain could still smell him. On the sofa, in the air, in the house. Payu's scent was everywhere. It was choking him. With every breath he took, the scent reminded him of all the hurt. Of all the crushed hopes. Yet, weirdly, it still also carried all the times when they were still each other's worlds.

"..."

Rain blinked at the shadows playing in the darkness. Eyes wanting to shut completely. His cheeks were sticky from dried up tears. His hands and feet were cold.

"..."

After hours and hours of laying there, he patted the inner corner of the sofa where he knew his phone was. He swiped blindly through the screen and brought the device to his ear.

"Phi...?" he began. "Is P'Payu there? Is he safe?"

"Goddamn it, Rain," Saifa uttered under his breath. "Your voice."

Rain laughed a little. "It's nothing, Phi."

"What happened? He just arrived and I was about to call you. Why is he here? Did the two of you fight?"

Rain closed his eyes. Sometimes, he wished they did fight. So he could be angry and blame Payu for all the things he was being put through. Maybe this would have been easier if that was the case.

"We didn't fight, Phi. Just... we're taking a break from each other. It's what he wants."

There was a litany of tiny curses in the other line. "Break? You've been far from each other for five years and he wants a 'break'?"

Rain smiled through the sting in his eyes. "Don't be mad, Phi. I guess, I just have to accept that I am no longer his priority."

"That's stupid Rain. He just doesn't know any better," Saifa gritted. "Let me go talk to him--"

"Phi," Rain called tiredly. "I just want to be sure he's safe. I didn't know anywhere else he'd go to if not to Ple. At least he didn't go... there."

Saifa was silent for a long time. "I'm so sorry, Rain. It might be a fault of mine too. I was... I was asking him why he's putting up barriers between the two of you... maybe..."

"Phi... this is bound to happen. It is. I just didn't want to anticipate and see it. I was running away from it. Now that it's here... well, here we are. Here I am."

"I don't know what to tell you, Rain," Saifa murmured, pity and anger in his voice. "I know this is... fucked up."

"Phi, I'll send you his prescription for his migraines. Regular ones don't work on him. Too much light hurts his eyes so please minimize the glare in his room."

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