Chapter 1 - Time

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1945 Nov 22nd

It's been 738 days since I last saw Soldat. I was heartbroken when he didn't return to our cell all those years ago. Sometimes I stare longing at the heavy-duty door, hoping to see his cold stare peering through the glass to check on me. I'm delusional I know but it makes being here slightly more bearable, I mean it is so boring and lonely here and without my dear soulmate here I have been taking more beatings lately from Crossbones because it's totally my fault that he escaped.

I have a brain-melting "ceremony" today, I hope I can still remember him. His luscious, dark hair that falls just at his jaw, his stern gaze which softens as he steals glances towards me, oh how I miss that boy...

1960 Mar 3rd

HYDRA tried to send me out to get him but I quickly tried to escape alas they caught me, again. Whenever I return from the special sessions with Brucklow my mind often wanders to my soulmates and I hope they have a happy life without me. It brings a small amount of happiness to this abysmal place. I often imagine a small family full of happy children and many animals, maybe we would have a farm with a lakehouse, my soulmates surrounding me, maybe I would stop being so angry at them if I can imagine these sorts of things.

1963 Feb 14th

Another Valentine's day without him, I can't even remember his face anymore just his cold, piercing eyes. Thinking about them makes me want to throw up, HYDRA showed me the truth of who he was and how he is a traitor to the cause, the right cause. He makes me feel ashamed for loving him.

Our bases have been infiltrated by these so-called "heroes", they call themselves the Avengers. What a bullshit name, I mean come on. You could've gone for something like the "Justice League" and you chose Avengers. Anyways, they're thinking of freezing me alive! No thank you, ma'am, I hate the cold, and god is Russia cold. They are saying that they're searching for their final soulmate or something but honestly how long are you gonna look before they just give up? I often wonder if the person doesn't want to be found at all. Hail HYDRA.

2001 Jun 23rd

Comply. They're starting to wonder if I'll ever age. My missions have been more frequent and violent than usual maybe they're trying to push me over the edge but I can't break, I mustn't show weakness. They made me murder a family in front of the daughter and I couldn't feel anything anymore. All passion and feelings have turned to bitterness and anger.

My new mission is more personal than the rest. They want me to go undercover to infiltrate the Stark tower as his new assistant and retrieve vital documents on SHIELD agents from around the globe. I'm leaving tonight and I hope that I can perform this as swiftly and smoothly for HYDRA's sake and my own. Hail HYDRA.

AN: Do yall like this writing style? It will continue in a story rather than a diary entry going forward. thank you for reading and remember dont be a silent reader! Let me here what you have to say! love yall <3





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