this is me trying

Chapter 10 - A Decade Gone

Soon, it was the Christmas break. I was going home for Christmas, and I don't think I had ever been so excited to be home again. To see Chris, my barrister, and the Trondheim Fjord. To see my home, and my parents. To see Norway. To see the place I've always loved.

"I'll see you soon?" Ona said, while sitting on my bed as I packed.

"Yes, of course," I responded, while stuffing my suitcase. "Besides, you're going home too."

"I just wish you were coming with me," Ona replied, laying her head on the pillows behind her and looking up at the ceiling. I sighed softly, as I saw her sadness, and walked over to her, before laying my body on top of hers.

"Hey!" I said, moving her chin to look at me. "You'll be fine!" I gave her a quick kiss, before getting up to continue my packing.

"You sure you don't want me to come?" Ona asked. I thought about it, knowing that I wanted her to come more than anything, but if she did, I would have to come clean. Come clean about Nora. Come clean about all of it. At that present moment, I knew that it would be easier to leave it, and face the two weeks without her, than going through the conversation. Go through the conversation about how my sister isn't actually at Uni in Norway, but rather dead. 

"I think I just need to spend some time with my family," I said, trying not to look at her. "But, next time. Okay?" Ona frowned slightly, before laying back down again.

I left the next day, and Ona dropped me at the airport, as she was going to leave the following day for Barcelona.

"Call me when you land," Ona said, as she held my hand before I walked through security.

"I will," I replied. She leant her forehead on my own, before leaning in to give me one last, soft kiss, before I stepped away.

I wanted more than anything for her to come on that plane with me, but I knew that I couldn't face telling her right now. I couldn't face having to tell her everything. That would be a later endeavour; the real question was just how much later.

When I arrived in Trondheim, I got myself to my family home. When I walked through the doors, Mamma stood there with a smile on her face.

"Eva," she said, smiling at me, and without even thinking, I went up to her, wrapping my arms around my mum for the first time in nearly 10 years. She was apprehensive at first, not knowing what was going on, but as she settled, I felt her arms tightly wrap my body, holding on as if she never wanted to let go. I smelled her perfume, which I hadn't smelt this close up in a decade, and I felt her hair, as silky as it was when I was 12. I felt my mum. I felt her. I felt her warmth, and spirit, and life. I felt her.

As I let go, she looked at me, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"Eva, I-"

"I missed you too," I said, cutting her off.

Pappa soon appeared, and as he looked over, he saw Mamma crying.

"What's-" but before he could continue speaking, I went up to him also, leaning up to wrap my arms around his neck. He too was confused, just as Mamma was, but he soon settled into the hug. I smelt his aftershave, that reminded me of when I was a little girl. I felt his facial hair rub on my shoulder, and his strong arms pulled me closer to him. Similarly with Mamma, I felt him. I felt his love, and happiness, and life. I felt him, for the first time in a decade.

"I'm confused," Pappa soon said, "but I'm happy with it."

"Eva, we're so happy," Mamma said, "but how? Why?"

"I can't explain it," I responded.

"Has something changed?" she asked. As I thought about it, I was soon reminded of the one thing that changed. The one thing in my life that has changed my entire being.