Phases (editing)

thirty seven

AN- chapter songs:  Take me to church by hozier and That home by the cinematic orchestra

14th June 1996

Waxing Crescent

"What don't I know, Theo?" I accuse looking between the two boys.

"You know," Blaise chirps walking out of the shed, "'Dromeda needs help... painting cabinets."

"What do I need help with?" The three of us froze and walked out of the shed to see Andromeda standing with a basket of fruits from the plants she's grown.

I watched Theo exchange a look with her and speak with their eyes. The unspoken understanding is shown with their shared head nods. My body tensed under the annoyance of being left out of the know.

"Let her rest and eat," Theo orders, "this is a conversation for later."

"I'm not a bloody puppy!" I shout. "I was abducted, held in a cellar, beaten and tortured for months, and found out my boyfriend was a Death Eater. Nothing can hurt worse than that." I dug my nails into my scalp and fisted my hair. "What aren't you guys telling me?"

Blaise slowly backed away and snuck into the house, expelling himself from whatever truth they were all hiding. For an unyielding moment, I wanted to explode with anger. Scream, cry, and potentially vomit on the floor if it meant they'd stop withholding this information.

"I'll take her through the garden," Theo announces, "we'll be back for supper."

Andromeda hugs the basket and smiles, "That sounds like a wonderful idea, and I'm planning on making a casserole for supper. Could you two gather vegetables on your way back in?" she asks handing her basket to Theo, who obliged. "You have a wand, correct?"

Theo nods and reaches for my hand, but I step away swiftly. "What if I don't want to go on a walk?"

"Too bad," he then snatches my hand and drags me down the path. Then once we were out of earshot, and surrounded by hip-tall wild plants, he spoke again, "You know, we've all been through shit. Anyone who hasn't wouldn't be here. It's practically a halfway house for those with trauma."

"I don't care," I say, taking my hand back.

"You do," he corrects, "and you're only saying that because you're mad you aren't getting what you want."

I'm not even facing him by the time he finishes his sentence; I'm looking out towards the hills and the sun that's begging to touch them. The hills are coated in dry tall grass, and I almost want to scream at them to not let the sun touch them. That the sun may feel warm and comforting, but all it will do is burn you alive.

"Why are you here, Theo?" I finally ask.

"That is a question I can answer," he says, then steps to stand next to me. "So you saw Draco, and seeing Draco means you saw his new accessory."

I suck in air through my teeth, then nod.

"Right," he continues, "well, when I found him after he took the mark, I knew I'd be following him soon. What you don't know is, that even before your disappearance, they were already talking about putting me on trial; by the time you were gone, I was so deep in my addiction, I hadn't even realized they'd put me on trial."

The corners of my eyes stung but willed them to not advance. My mind is a trap of assumed events and visuals, and the Theo I knew before was much softer and malleable compared to this one. It broke my heart to know there were events that made that version of him a shadow.