The Truth About Living [ON HOLD]

Chapter 1: The Letter

Hey readers!!(: First off, i would like to thank xRestlessHearts for the beautiful cover on the side. Sorry i didnt use it :/ Im such an indecisive person. *fp* Anywho, make sure to checkout her thread for book covers(: Also, thanks to all my readers! Comment and vote please! Happy reading(:

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"She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her, writing "yes" in the sky."

― Monique Duval

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~ Aly's P.O.V ~

When I first heard the news, my first thought was, "She finally did it. She finally cracked." But, sitting here, staring at a little white urn, it was probably too morbid to say out loud. Especially coming from the mouth of a seventeen year old girl whose sister committed suicide a week ago.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Oh, so your sister had issues so she decided to end it". Well, you're right. But they were much worse issues than what you might be thinking.

"Alicia! Come back please!" My thoughts are interrupted by my mother's heart-wrenching wails.

I look at all the people around me, from my mom who is hanging onto my teary eyed dad, to some kids from school who "claim" to have been good friends with my sister. Mostly though, nobody truly new her. Nobody knew what she was going through. Except for me. Well, at least, that's what I thought.

Truthfully, Alicia looked like she had a perfect life. All the way up until the end. Her grades started to plunge, and you could see it in her eyes that something was off. But, naturally I was the only one who truly noticed. That's what made me mad. Not at Alicia though, I was mad at myself. I should've done more, then maybe she'd still be alive.

I looked at all the sobbing people around me. Surprisingly, I haven't cried at all in the past week. It wasn't that I didn't love her. In fact, I was really close to her. I told her everything and I thought she told me everything too, but, apparently not. Mostly the reason was that I was kind of shocked. One day she was here, two rooms down the hall from me, across the dinner table from me, 3 tables away in the cafeteria from me. Then the next day she was gone.

I look at the white urn again as the preacher goes on saying how she was a beautiful person who will be missed greatly. Which, if you ask me, really isn't fair because he didn't even know her. But no one's asking me. No one ever asked me. I was just the little sister of Alicia. The dull, green eyed, blonde haired girl who was somehow related to the ever beautiful girl with striking blue eyes and luscious, silky brown hair that was always perfect.

Sometimes I wonder when she figured out that she wanted to stop living; that she wanted to stop trying.

Sometimes I wonder if it hurt when she was dying.

Sometimes I wonder if there is a heaven and if it's nice there.

Sometimes I wonder why she didn't take me with her.

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~ Ian's P.O.V. ~

Dear Ian,

If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. First, I want to say that I'm sorry, and I can understand if you're angry. Especially because I deserted my only sister. But, I wanted to leave, hell, I needed to leave. You probably think that I did it because your brother died last year. But that's only half of it. Don't worry, if you don't get what I'm talking about, you'll find out eventually.

Now you're probably wondering why your dead brother's dead girlfriend, (Wow, this is really screwed up, isn't it?) is sending you letters from "beyond the grave". The reason I wrote this letter to you was because I need you to do something for me. I need you to help my sister, Alyssa. But, you're not just helping her, this will help you too. How? You'll figure that out eventually too, but for right now she just needs someone to hold her.

-Alicia

PS: I have someone sending these letters for me, and there are more to come. Alyssa will get some too.

PPS: Don't tell her about this letter. Just tell her to look in the bird house.

I keep mentally rereading the letter in my head, I've read it so many times since my mom brought it to my room that I have it memorized. I'm still shocked. The part about my brother brings a pang of sadness and guilt in my chest.

My parents and I came to her funeral not only because she was Dylan's girlfriend, but because we're neighbors, and my parents have known Alicia and Alyssa' s parents for years. When the funeral ended, I searched the room for Alyssa but couldn't find her so I walked toward the parking lot. My parents told me that they were staying to talk to Alicia's family.

Scanning the parking lot, I still couldn't find her and decided that she went home. I hopped into my old Chevy, drove the ten minutes to my house and pulled into the driveway. I glanced to my right to look at Aly's house and saw a light on in the kitchen. We used to be close friends when we were kids. But, I guess we kind of grew apart. Finally climbing out of my truck, I walked across the yard as a million thoughts ran through my mind.

What if she doesn't want to see me? What am I supposed to say? I can't just walk up and say "So your sister sent me this really cryptic letter. Yea your sister. The dead one".

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. No answer. I knew she was in there though, I saw her shadow cross in front of the window. I knocked again.

"Ummm, Aly? It's Ian." I said loud enough so she could hear through the door. I hope she doesn't mind that I still call her Aly, that was my nickname for her from when we were little.

The knob turns slowly and the door opens a crack.

"Ian?" she asks cautiously and opens the door all the way.

"Umm, hi. I wanted to, umm, talk to you? " I said, blabbering like the idiot that I am. She nodded and I noticed the tiniest smile form on her face.

"Sure, come on in." She leads me to the kitchen and I watch her as she gets us two glasses of water. Her dirty blond hair was flowing down to the middle of her back. And even though she was just wearing a simple pair of gray shorts paired with a light blue t-shirt, she looked beautiful.

Setting one glass of water in front of me and holding one of her own, she looked at me expectantly. Oh, yea. I need to talk to her. I mentally slap myself.

"How are you doing Aly? Be honest." I ask her, trying to sound as genuine as possible. She bites her lip in this adorable way... How come I never notified these things before?

"Well, I've been better... but, I guess I'm just confused. I mean, I know she was having a tough time with, umm, Dylan's, umm, passing. But there was something more to it. I could tell... that's the other thing. I'm really pissed." I tried not to cringe when she said my brother's name. She ran a hand through her sleek, blonde hair. I could tell something about this was really bothering her but I didn't want to pester her so I just nodded.

I need to tell her about the bird house, but I'm not sure how.

So, I jump.

"Well, umm I have something I need to tell you," I said slowly as her eyebrows crinkled in confusion, "I'm supposed to tell you to look in the birdhouse..."

Her eyes widened and her face grew pale and she didn't say anything for a long time.

"Ummm, Aly? I'm sorry if I -" Aly interrupted me and grabbed my hand.

"Follow me."

And we ran out to the backyard, her hand fitting like a puzzle in mine.

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